Something I apparently inherited from my dad without realizing it is a tendency to address the family pets with a lot of barely-rhymed gibberish. Had a golden retriever named Tucker that led to a lot of unfortunate stanzas.

Recruitor: I love my little beary-boy, he's a baby! He's a baby boy. [kissing noises]

I read that as Beta Band, not Beta Brand, and was confused for a second.

At least they did the moral thing and got married.

In all fairness, "streaming" means something entirely different in German porn circles.

Mercola is to real medicine as rubber ducky is to a battleship.

Science. It's not always "fair and balanced". But if it was, it wouldn't really be science. It would be a conversation.

Um. Last October I wrote a Foodspin telling people how to eat Halloween candy. I think your concerns might be just a tad misplaced.

May hornets built a hive in your brain.

Or a lot of people who have a much better understanding of economics than you.

See Ontario, 2010. And no, the national igloo did not melt.

I keep hearing people say "Well, I don't even make $15! Why should fry cooks ask for it when I don't even get it for my job?"

She did a pretty good job of representing the event as how it probably seemed to her 12 year old self when it occurred, rather than filtering it through the lens of an experienced adult who knows how fucked up this situation really was. That's called "good writing".

Wahabbi Lobby is more like it, but I do like these.

I don't understand all the questions about how to take this... it's her life. It's OK for it to be morally ambiguous. I interpret it as a child taking an empowering action against an abusive and inappropriate adult but you, reader, can interpret it however you like.

You know, I had no idea anyone could criticize the 12 year old in this situation. I thought all the comments would be along the lines of 'That's awful!'. NOPE.

People, the tag on this article is goddamn "First Person." It's a personal reflection. Click on her damn blog. Not everything has to be a well-researched, cited, serious journalistic "article." Jesus.

Actually, it might work like fly-paper for the trolls. Jessica and Burt may be laying a trap for some good ole banhammering.

They should really just preemptively shut down comments on this article.