Just make this burger instead:

Seductive reasoning.

There are so many things to get legitimately pissed off about from this article and you chose none of them.

Exactly. But yeah, let’s keep bitching about DiCaprio and Al Gore using private jets. Because all that’s standing in our way of having a habitable planet in the future is individual choices.

There has never been a more important issue facing anybody at any time at any place in the history of our species. And even this Splinter article starts by describing it as potentially “one of” the most important issues for our next President. That’s not a knock on the author, that’s just where we are.

$1 million for every percentage of breathable air that the Amazon produces.

It’s real and it’s spectacular.

Attorney or attire, Rusty Hardin sounds more like something you’d find on Urban Dictionary.

Sounds like a job for...

I know I mostly just make joke comments but sometimes the only thing that comes to mind is JESUS BUTTCHUGGING CHRIST HOW THE FUCK IS THIS REALITY?! I WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING FORGIVE ANY SINGLE PERSON THAT VOTED FOR THIS INSANE ORANGE BAG OF DIARRHEA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Jeff Goldblum is a national fucking treasure and I can’t wait for this. 

Thanks. That user has been around just as long if not longer than me, though. The similarity is pure coincidence. 

I guarantee that sue gets his news from Fox and Breitbart and places like that, and had no idea that this was already an existing policy.

Yep. That’s what I do and that’s absolutely accurate. 

I like to roll up my marijuana in a rainbow flag. Then, I lube it up with the blood of aborted fetuses and shove it straight into my asshole

I’ve stopped using the work marijuana as well.

Terrible guy, Schrodinger. Total loser. Did nothing but sit around playing piano.  There’s no money in that!  Lucy wanted to fuck him so badly but he just sat there.  Probably a “gay.”

You hereby “order” companies to look at alternatives to China? Putting aside the dictatorial nature of that statement, WE ALREADY ARE BECAUSE OF YOUR TARIFFS YOU BLOATED ORANGE BUFFOON!

Mother Theresa was a deluded old twat who wrecked more lives than she ever helped. Devotion to the sky wizard, militant anti-abortion views, sub-hospice level healthcare offerings, support of Contras and Union Carbide and Thatcher and Reagan and on and on and on...