I can’t believe that I just now realized that Han Solo is basically Space Butch Cassidy.

And this was barely even news today. That’s where we are now. 

Tom Cotton looks like a kid who, when asked, “Was Santa good to you this year?” would reply, “Christmas is about Jesus, ma’am.”

“The Landlord’s Game”

No, actually, the idea was stolen from the socialist by some dipshit capitalist pig like you.

Does anyone listen to The Dollop podcast?  They had a really interesting episode recently about the origins of Monopoly and how it was actually created by a socialist to play off of the inherent dangers of capitalism. 

Come on, get with the times!

Trump signs executive order reducing the documents necessary for a restaurant to file for a liquor license from 3 to 2...

Oh, come on. He doesn’t pay attention to her anymore.

It’s sadlarious how you keep beating this drum.

Hickenlooper?

Off-topic, but breaking news:

You’re assuming that their feeble little minds can comprehend the fact that Planned Parenthood services are largely not about abortion. In their minds, they believe that they have the moral high ground because they believe that they are defending innocent babies from being murdered by the amoral. I’m not defending…

These people are fucking sic[k].

This is indeed a terrible take, but on the bright side literally everyone trying to beat Trump actually does give a fuck about climate change to some degree, so...

During yet another rambling, incoherent press conference involving plenty of anti-Semitism today, Donald Trump took a question about the epidemic of veterans’ suicides across the country.

A chance for me to wear Mrs. Funk’s skimpiest outside the bedroom?!

Ah, thanks.  I’d forgotten the Golan Heights travesty.

Well, that answer is always correct.

Trump: “Wait a minute. No president has done what I’ve done.”