Here, have this:

“[T]he shooters in— in both in El Paso and in Dayton, passed background checks.”

Same!

With Mother, of course.

From the linked article:

Motherfucker tried to claim that he was wearing the latex gloves because he was eating a prickly pear. Because nothing protects your hands against sharp objects like latex gloves.

He’s already on probation for assault with a weapon, he fractures a child’s skull, and after his arrest he was...

We shouldn’t need photos of police with hands growing out of their heads either. It’s terrifying enough to know what they do with the other two.

I laughed more at Kid Gorgeous than any other stand up special since probably Carlin. 

“We could push the company to break even if we wanted to frankly, but I think what you will see from us is…lower losses going forward while at the same time we aggressively invest in new growth levers,” said Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi in a conference call with reporters.

You’re honestly better off not knowing.  Google it if you must.

Or a horse.

I clicked the link, terrified that there would be a lemon party involved.

“They wanted him to go in and behave differently. The goal was to go in and get out with as little news as possible.”

My daughter has Celiac disease, diagnosed when she was 4. Thankfully, we haven’t encountered this type of thing from friends or family yet. A lot of clueless people, but no malevolent ones (yet).

Exactly!!!

I do 12 oz. curls every night.  Multiple reps and sets.

What no one notes is that immediately prior to that moment, Trump was talking about a migrant caravan heading north, and he said of border patrol agents, “Don’t forget, we don’t let them and we can’t let them use weapons. Other countries do. We can’t. I would never do that.”