Alternatively

no

Right-wing propaganda piece about a small businessman just trying to feed his family by opening up a dinosaur theme park but burdensome government regulations prevent him from doing so just because the last four dinosaur theme parks resulted in thousands of deaths.

Sitting in Vegas, with his hands on the keys

Mostly agree, but you’d buy a car, wouldn’t you?

You would probably use the settlement cash to build a kiln for these hot takes.

Imagine the most pathetically arrogant response ever. Then make it twice as bad. Then remove all the class from it, and inject it with a nice dose of insecurity. That’ll be his response.

As soon as somebody reads this to him, Floyd is going to be pissed.

Between sips of his Mimosa, Eisenberg’s eyes widened. He waved for his personal masseuse to stay her hand. It was then that he realized the many ways his penthouse suite at ComicCon was not unlike the attic of the Anne Frank House.

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think “oh crap, it’s the cops”?

My shoulder is completely fucked from baseball when I was a kid. I’d last approximately 3 pitches before my arm would literally fly off...

Even fridge space gets co-opted. You will never buy a cold 30-pack at the store again, or else you will get The Look.

What Union? NFL players don't have a union.

So long as Ice-T is there to offer exposition in the form of a question.

I KNOW, RIGHT? She’s SO boring. Give me more Sophia, Taystee, and Poussey!! Give me more Pennsatucky!! More of the Spanish women!!