My one piece of advice is to get a day-of coordinator - obviously, this doesn’t help you right now, but on the actual day, plus the days leading up to the wedding, our coordinator was a fucking GODSEND. Everything ran smooth, and she dealt with all the last minute problems without me or my wife having to lift a…

Bills fans be like

The Cubs should sign him - probably going to be an upgrade over Arrieta, and on his off days can play in the outfield so we can finally dump Schwarber onto an AL team in exchange for some bullpen help (or, really anything - maybe they can stock our Gatorade machines... god he was disappointing last year).

Murkowski can be a real Koch-sucker sometimes

I know, right? I drive an Avalon, not a Group B Rally Car... I just go a little slower than I usually do.

Oregon also announced that they have received oral commitments from Cooper Cooper, Hanzlik Hanzlik, Johnson Johnson, and Robertson Robertson - head coach Dana Altman expects the team to be the second best defensive unit in 1986.

Commented on Jalopnik that I keep driving in the snow on all-season tires.

...this isn’t a children’s card game.

I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to just say “the election is being held in Alabama” and just leave it at that?

Two different sales people in my office drive LS200s. I have seen both of their commission checks - they could literally drive whatever they want, and yet they choose to stick with their Saturns. I can’t explain it.

For years I have been telling people the story of the first time I remember being aware of the Blackhawks: it was the early 90s, they were playing Dallas at home, and I watched the game on TV with my cousins in the basement of my Aunt and Uncle’s house. Ed Belfour was in net for that game, and I remember thinking that…

“She wasn’t laughing at any of my gay jokes and being really crabby - it was inevitable that this happened.”

Who? The “fuck her in the pussy” guy? No way.

If anyone can bring about justice in a transparent and non-arbitrary manner, its an NCAA Men’s Basketball Program...

A question to my fellow British Jalops: are people who voted for Brexit generally furious about how its blowing up in their faces, or do people honestly still think this is a good idea? It seems like the process is going... poorly.

Better take: ban golfers who take things way to seriously, buy too much gear that they don’t need because they aren’t pros, or require a pristine country club experience in order to play.

USA: We’re going to make the NIT of Soccer!

Meanwhile, in Chicago:

It still amazes me how little horsepower American automakers were getting out of a 4.0 litre engine. I mean... wow.

How can this not be the Raiders?