HE HATE TEAMS

Guaranteeing right now DC Defenders gonna lead the league in points allowed because fuck nominative determinism

The clip is only 57 seconds long, but the ball’s recording device recorded 18 hours of static while it was in right field.

When you invite your crush to a “party” at your house.

No way does a storm trooper actually throw a pitch into the strike zone.

“Recently I have noticed a lot of people responding to text messages using the “Thumbs Up” emoji. Every time I receive this as a response to a text message it makes me furious.”

Last guy could have named his cat Kitty Purry, and if nothing else, he would have dominated the star count at Jezebel’s “Saturday Night Social” thread.

The last player to break a Big Mac sign like that was Bartolo Colon at the order kiosk.

I think they’d be satisfied with a second Osprey.

As it turns out, the camera operator was Markelle Fultz.

On the plus side Mumford & Sons is relegated to playing minor league ballparks in Montana, so let’s consider this a win.

How dare you like something.

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?

I heard they’re not even his sons!

Getting back into a baseball game after you’ve already exited the stadium? That’s the very definition White privilege.

well they’ll have to come up with a better slogan than Keep Bury Alive

With this one conversation Lamar Jackson is now a closer friend than any other member of Rodgers’ family.

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

Red red whine