I’m beginning to understand why countries break apart and civil wars happen, because I really, really don’t want to live in the same country as these people.

As a Marlins Fan I fell it is my civic duty to vote Loria early and often

Say what you want about Snyder: He only wrecked his team’s roster a few times, not it’s cashflow. #VoteLoria

“Johnny Manziel...mauled, senselessly, by lions at age 23" - Tom Brokaw

He’s not a very good lawyer.

Wyh this now, Dwyane?

Notable predictions from Stephen A. Smith’s ancestors:

So Ben Roethlisberger didn’t explicitly say no, and Donald Trump took that as a yes? Interesting…

Luckily, Gawker Media can turn to the thousands of underemployed lawyers in the comments sections to make sure this whole process goes smoothly.

Muhammad Ali did not throw out the first pitch in Marlins Park history. Jeffrey Loria’s sick ass paid whatever was asked (presumably more than the HR statue cost) to have Ali golf-carted out to the pitcher’s mound from Centerfield. The ball was then snatched from his unstable hands by none other than the unremarkable…

MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD! THAT’S KLAY THOMPSON’S MUSIC!

Tell him to get in line.

Well I mean, the user name is wnbafan1. They’re trying to intimate that wnbafan was already taken.

“Cough may be a concern; management by OTC remedies may not be long-term solution.”

Spike Lee wishes his team was mediocre at best

To be fair, I think Berman is used to saying, “This has never happened before. I swear.”

“Google”

I can’t prove it and so I’m gonna sound like a conspiracy nut but I don’t think dude has an actual throat or digestive system.

On my balls, on my dick then I bust a nut quick. On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts. Come on fellas, let’s get weird. Stick your dick up in her ear.