I hope you feel better soon! That cat does bear a striking resemblance to Salem but it’s actually from one of my all time favorite commercials. Enjoy!

Same. It’s also much safer for the cat. As a kid, when we had indoor/outdoor cats, we had a steady parade of cats because we’d get one, have it for a few years and then it would vanish. I can’t even tell you how many cats I had in my childhood.

“And as someone who grew up with a cat who loves to kill animals and leave home for days on end hunting, it’s not as easy as sticking your cat indoors all the time.”

Hmm only funny people can comment that it’s strange to do a stand up set that reminds people of your scandal but never mention that scandal. Good point.

But thanks for the warm and sincere response............

Never underestimate the power of white men to fail upwards.

This reminds me of my favorite episode of Angel, when Angel becomes a puppet. It was wonderful on so many levels. And those puppets were evil killers. Also puppet Angel was so much better than regular Angel. That is all. 

Who am I kidding? Half the fun is complaining once it goes off the rails. I’ll be watching!

Jezzies are too young to remember, but once upon a time, Alec Baldwin was the business. In fact, a “Baldwin” was slang for a very handsome, very virile guy. It came from that moment when all the acting Baldwin brothers were at peak hotness, and Alec was the jewel in that crown.

Since she’s forgiven him for a phone message he left 11 years ago, I think we can too. 

Eh. This doesn’t really bother me. It’s pretty innocuous. If you’re putting your thirst traps out in the world for everyone to see, maybe sometimes you’ll get reminded that everyone can see them.

You say that, but right now, a young Zephyr Timblebum is booking her first modeling gig. And Glynda Wonklefuss is heading to Hollywood to follow her dreams.

I’m on my ~weight loss journey~ trying to lose 56 pounds and so far i’ve lost 3, but even though i’ve only lost a few pounds, I feel good. My focus is more on making healthier habits and working on losing the unhealthy ones (like binge-eating disorder and body dysmorphia and eating pints of ice cream for breakfast and…

Posting here because why not. I’m turning 31 today. In the last year I divorced from my emotionally abusive husband, moved in an apartment alone, lost my job and had to deal with the fact that I feel really lonely. My family lives on another continent and making friends in LA is super hard. Plus I’m poor and worried…

Like many of you (but probably not nearly enough of you) I trim my pubes.....

Kanye West is garbage. The Kardashians are also garbage. All these garbage people have more money than i’ll ever see in my lifetime, let alone most people’s lifetime. Meanwhile, i’m over here wondering if I’ll have enough money this week to be able to buy toilet paper or if I should just go to the local community…

May I submit:

Hazel, you are doing the lord’s work. This is a top-notch selection. 

It’s winter here but it’s already getting mild. I live in a pretty hot country and based on what your hemisphere is going through, I’m a tad nervous for next summer. Stay cool.