But you can go through those mechanics if it's the truth and the court of public opinion matters, as it does with public figures. I'm not saying this isn't a case of reproachable victim blaming; but I am saying I don't know if it isn't.

It suddenly dawns on her that the cost of that front row seat is going to cost her one handjob to Donald Sterling.

You're right. Three whole weeks! What he should have done is create a bunch of hastily crafted action items and programs that he'd later have to blow up and rebuild because they were so ineffective due to being hastily crafted in his haste to appear all hasty.

I haven't seen a banner ruin an entire football team that fast since Joe did it to the Browns.

I wanted to like this joke, but kickers aren't reliant on on O-line proficiency so I'm afraid we'll have to pass on this one.

Golden Showers Stadium.

You think this is a bad PR mess? Just wait until Michael Sam beats up his boyfriend.

As much as it would be nice, whaddya wanna bet that in fact Goodell is not "done"?

No doubt the dude's a dick, but I do have difficulty squaring the lack of photographic evidence or medical records of the women he's claimed to have beaten. I mean, the guy is one of the greatest punchers of all time. Even just the tiniest of jabs would wreck a lady's face. There are no pics related to any of these…

Well at least Ray and Janay will have even more time now to work on and strengthen their relationship.

Is she entitled to anything in the class action concussion lawsuit?

King is clearly falling on the sword for the League. He claims he didn't call the League to comment on his report that they've seen the elevator vid? No way. Not a chance. If he in fact did not make that phone call, then he did so deliberately to provide a safe buffer to himself and the League. Relationship maintained!

Localization is tricky.

You're conflating issues, Tom, by dismissing Lennay's comment. Who said anything about sexual assault? Just you as far as I can tell.

I'm OK with this.

I'm willing to put a fucking bounty on Williams' goatee.

And on the right is GM Ray Farmer informing Brian Hoyer via earpiece that he'll be the Week 1 starter.

The couldn't-get-a-boner part explains a lot.

I wear I'll punch you in the back of the head and run.

I haven't seen this many comedians in one place since the Holocause forced millions of Jews to flee Europe and settle in Hollywood.