Ranch?

Don’t forget JW elders!

Please to list the continents where sexual harassment is not a problem.

When I showed them the pic, my foxtail fern recoiled but my wandering jew* was like “idk.”

“provocative”

That “apology” was just as bizarre as the original rant.

I only had for the first time last year, and only to use up an avocado before it got too brown. If *I* can make it, it isn’t special.

“I mean, look at how long people live eating nothing but junk. Our bodies aren’t that fragile.” 

Intellectually, I grasp that bugs are good protein, yadda yadda, all the usual arguments.

I love that he has a segment called “Let Me Finish.” Like bitch all you do is start and finish this whole show, you never let any other person talk, why do you even have guests? Just hold up a picture and talk at it.

Never worked in an office? Binder clips for free! Infinite binder clips!

Oh it was a gym teacher. I'm even less surprised.

Yeah, my first (internal) reaction is always “why tho.”

I use auto pay. My electric company takes the money right out of my account, and they STILL want me to download an app “to pay my bill.”

Did it cause any creases or marks on your face/eyes?

Did it cause any creases or marks on your face/eyes?

STICK TO SP- wait...

Why stop at banishing?

toddlers and white doofuses? he can have em.

“spearmint”

“hot, humid weather”