Good luck!

Does anyone every subtract their age from the average life expectancy and think “only X more years of this shit”?

This topic actually comes up pretty regularly, every time a very large hurricane is on its way to us since Katrina. All the insane ways we could stave it off, everything from dropping ice in it to bombing it. I don’t remember all the reasons why a bomb won’t work but the bottom line is it won’t (aside from being…

We’ve come a long way from the “math is hard!” Barbie.

If they do allow this, I really hope people start being fired for being straight. "Sorry, your straight marriage and straight babies cost the company too much in insurance."

Germany? France? Canada? Please invade us. 

“You IQ if 55 is showing”

What could possibly be the point of this stupid fucking thought experiment?

You can’t do it without embracing. Can you?

One down, one to go!

“Consider the best interest of the group…unless you want to forget that and just do what you need to do.”

I have seen Ring videos on Next Door (another circus of humanity) where you can see the house across the street. And I’m in the burbs, where yards and streets are wider. Maybe Ring needs to adjust their camera acuity.

I learned I have the same name as a soft core bondage porn star. We don’t look alike, but still.

If they get rid of the tex mex, I’ll basically have no reason to shop there ever again.

“HEY [DICKFART] CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING???”

Not false. I volunteer in a shelter. Every dog we get in that is “skittish” around men came from an abuse situation, even if it was “just” abuse towards the dog. If you are a woman who is ok with animal abuse, then I think you are a shitty human who shouldn’t have dogs.

I have heard this before “the dog doesn’t like black people.” Surprise! Its owners never do, either. 

But these guys don’t see color!

Or play crazy. I always think anyone cheesing in a mug shot must be absolutely off their rocker.

Criticizing this president is treason. The last one was ok.