I can’t read analog clocks. Thankfully they aren’t as common, but growing up I always wore a digital watch. Mostly it’s an issue when a TV character glances at a clock, or one is shown to illustrate the passage of time and I’m just like ???!?!??!!?.

I PC gamed in the 90s (at the HEIGHT of my emotional formative years). I spent more time playing DOOM, DOOM II, Quake IV, and Mortal Kombat than I did eating and sleeping. I also have yet to kill anyone, even accidentally. I don’t even own *a* gun, let alone many guns to necessitate a gun rack.

OOOH YES

Doom AND Mortal Kombat are out this year! We just need Duke Nukem and it'll be muh childhood all over again.

I worked an office job right out of high school. Full benefits, 401k. I'm still in a corporate environment almost 20 yrs later and have a house and health insurance and shit. But I never worked retail or in a restaurant and (while I know I'm not cut out for it and couldn't start now) wonder what i missed. I also can't…

I have no skin in the hotep argument, but saying “hotep really means x” is like saying “in the dictionary, f@ggot is defined as a bundle of sticks. WhY aRr YoU sO oFfEnDeD?” It's lazy trolling.

Drew, this officially makes you and my dad, who is 70, TWO people I know to use the expression “cranking his shaft.”

If by ending AIDS he means letting everyone who has it die out, then yeah I guess.

“Remember the good ol days”

Oh my gods, wake me when this is over.

“a professional irritant.”

Now he is absolutely free to go out and “get more attention!”

Why’d he gotta bring Pluto into this?

Take small comfort in the fact that he probably went home annoyed no one tried anything with him. That was his goal, no doubt.

What a family of fuckers. 

As long as they keep making Oreo filling out of that heroin paste, no one is going to "snack mindfully." Have you ever stopped at the suggested serving of 3? I'm lucky if I stop at 1/4 of the package.

Have you ever had to listen to a coworker tell you about his underground craft beer exchange on facebook? And how he drives hours for a single exclusive bottle?

I'm surprised she didn't blame ambien. 

Reading this actually gave me anxiety. Good job :/

The only way you get to keep your “private insurance” after retiring is if you were in a union (like Marcy) or worked for the government (so, not a private entity). I have been working for almost 20 yrs and actually like my insurance but the only way I get to keep it should my employer and I part ways is thru COBRA,…