So they have cheeseburger pizzas in London, the UK, Great British, or where ever this Queen Elizabeth lives but none here in the US? 

This is the best tip ever.

“It’s folded scrambled eggs.”

Nope, they are both hot dogs.

But you still only tip 20%

Yes! Because we all know that dealerships aren’t owned by anybody.

What if really isn’t a typo but a ploy by the dealership to bring their listing to the top of cars.com when filtered by lowest price first?

You say entitled white people, like I am a bad guy.

Wasnt sure if the snowy roads around Truckee CA were parking lots or not, thanks for correcting me.

Love it when you put rats in a confined space and they start to fight. 

Here is your 195th fucking star. 

I got sideways in the 70s.

I normally snip off any extra fingers as well, but I did keep one extra, you know for the ladies. 

Oh, you were so try crossing your eyes and looking through the picture. 

“Will it hot dog?” and “Can I put some shit in a bun?” are two vastly different concepts. 

It’s just a matter of semantics.

No one picked “put the peanut butter in the microwave for a bit and then pour that hot liquid peanut butter on your cold ice cream."

I looked behind me and saw that joke laying there on the ground, evidently it had flown right over my head, here's your star. 

Yeah a little unusual, I’ve called the cops a few times.

I had a friend named Karen, but I called her unKaren because she just didn't give AF.