I usually ask inept questions about the inter-webs.

You don't move the goalposts, you move the kicker back. 

Without my famous Fromunda cheese, this record is invalid.

“Let people enjoy things.”

On one hand you say: "stop being an elitist turd" on the other hand you say "let people enjoy things", well which is it? 

Until you are able to send samples, I will consider you an unreliable source.

“I thought it was a vinegar-BASED sauce that people pissed all over the BBQ”

The best way to figure out a tip, is to take whatever complex formula you normally use and throw that shit in the trash. Now just tip based on your fucking experience.

I go to the 7-11 in Kennewick, WA sometimes and for some reason that random location sells more Slurpees than any other in the world. Because of this they have an entire wall of Slurpee machines...it is a sight to behold.

Just throw a package of frozen supermarket wings on the BBQ, grill until crispy, sauce and eat.

I thought I was the only person that thought Subway was just a giant Play-Doh factory.

Wait a bit and that will become a Subway too. 

“Unless you count a burger as a sandwich”

Subway absolutely sucks. They have replaced almost every unique sandwich shop in town, they have replaced every Quiznos in town, and have replaced many Blimpies in this area.

Not really as sales tax is fairly stable so it’s not like you are constantly changing prices and reprinting menus.

Take the following sentance:

A beer WITH lunch? So a beer with my beer?

“Just shut up, drink your fucking pint and don’t be an annoying cunt.”

Or he is from the UK, in that case he is all three..an obtuse, overthinking, argumentative bastard.

Yup, we all know that there is very few bartenders (or former bartenders) that are on kinja and even fewer that would click on and read an article about beer and bars. Of those that are actually a bartender and read the article, you just know they won’t take the time to respond to something they see as wrong.