Get two dollar cheeseburgers minus ketchup and mustard, add mac sauce, throw away one bottom bun, stack them and you have a $2 big mac

Exactly right. If the piece of meat has never flapped or has no bone IT IS NOT A WING!

Wrap them in a third of a slice of bacon, powder on some brown sugar and then bake them in the oven.

Better yet, spiralize two hot dogs and then screw them together. 

Machine screws are generally used with threaded components not with nuts.

No,no,no...you don't spiralize the entire sandwich, just the hot dog part. 

If you of the knife as the nut and the hot dog as a screw, something is already wrong.

No the people who drink PBR are drunks, not alcoholics...big difference. 

You are doing it wrong. You are not trying to get down a can of PBR, the can of PBR is supposed to be getting down you.

Red beer AKA how to make shitty beer worse. 

Your hooker negotiations are strong

No “tunas” is absolutely the plural noun of “tuna”, so yes I did score a point there MORON.

I just read this article as I was the only rider on the city bus!

Step #1: Read the article

If you had read the article you would know, if you read the article and still don't know, you need to work on reading comprehension. 

Yep, and people from New York are really nice people if you just took the time to get to know them.

Violence over pizza is always just one chunk of pineapple away.

Violence over pizza is always just one chunk of pineapple away.

Im all about that Kansas City style pizza

“Basically, assholes abound in this story”