“Andy Dufresne crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.”

Because he once had a blood transfusion from Chuck Norris, therefore making him the strongest man in the world as well as impervious to heart attacks like mere mortals.

“I am of the opinion that it Kicks Ass”

*Flavorful Tip

KFC does not have honey, if you look it is called "honey sauce", whatever that means. 

Absolutely love the "Horsey" sauce, but asking for it makes me feel like a little girl

Didnt BK used to have “onion petals”?

Not as good as a Western Bacon Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr, but it is up there

You literally take ground mustard from the spice aisle and add a bit of water to it, that’s it.

How in the hell is this an "exhaustive review" without Carl's Jr? 

Your tin foil hat isn't working, try unplugging your microwave 

Good point, but did you have to call the guy a moron? 

No it is a hot dog

Yes, I am telling you that 

Calafel Fart

Agreed, almost all of my reviews are positive, detailed and often gives kudos to a specific server or cook.

“There’s only one moral to this story, and it’s that nothing good comes of reviewing restaurants on the internet.”

“Why on earth would a lady carrying tiny Ziploc bags of white flour through international borders arouse suspicion?”

I thought a filthy Lou was when you take your...oh wait this comment is meant for another website 

“got a pitcher of beer dumped on me as I was finishing a sloppy joe."