CNN graphic: “FL, NC, NH, OH, PA, VA too early to call”. That’s the whole fucking election, you idiots.

You have died of dysentery

This story was not up to our standards, and we deeply regret the error. The article’s text has been updated to properly reflect our uncertainty.

“First they came for the Mexicans, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a Mexican.

Stiff by Mary Roach is a great book on this. I highly recommend it.

I am also calling you out, Haren, you fuck. Here are my two, watching NFL pregame in my shitty home office on Sunday morning.

T̶r̶a̶i̶l̶ (ed: stream) of Tears

People are hard on fans of the Jets, but at least one fan is very happy. 

I think I remember here, several weeks ago, an article talking about Jane Doe’s identity being made public by the court?

Awful, awful game. I had money on it and could barely get through it.

“When they go low, HE GOES LOW”

Thanks, I did not know the WNBA Finals were happening.

Thank you for mentioning “taking the ice” in the first graf, because I seriously had no idea what the Florida Panthers were before that. Not kidding.

Scarlet Knights

Still, this is not a majora issue like Trump’s video release today.

Shit, this lede image has me spooked. How many Lassies were there?

Baseball much?

Hey, America!

Here, I fixed this for you:

Yes. Soccer is the best sport. It’s especially great for third world, where child rebel soldiers can also play: you don’t need hands or arms.