Marcus Beer is the kind of guy who feels the need to let you know he's a scotch drinker in his Twitter profile so I'm glad this is the first I'm ever hearing of him. What a dong.

Get a free wedding website from The Knot that you direct people to. On your Registries page, post this poem:

But actually probably. If you've ever enjoyed a sport, or a piece of art, or literature, you've probably enjoyed the work of someone who thinks/does terrible things at one point or another.

I guarantee several people you admire and revere hold terrible, abhorrent views.

Sounds like you thought this through, except for one thing: ONLY YOU CAN HEAR ME SUMMONER.

*GRUNTING INTENSIFIES*

So if you thought it was stupid that peripheral content like skins and maps was split up between retailers, just wait until GameStop can offer actual parts of a game you can't get anywhere else. Then wait for Walmart and Best Buy and Amazon to catch on. It'll be great.

We've "given" them to you in the same way black people gave away Condoleeza Rice and Colon Powell to white people in Dave Chappelle's Racial Draft.

"It's not the band I hate, it's the fans" - Sloan

White people playing music they shouldn't play in the wimpiest, most terrible method possible. They're basically the same band.

Paul Elam is literally a backwards male.

That's what you get for caring about soccer.

"easily identifiable" like herpes.

Jerry Ferrara sleeps with Gabrielle Union? I hope the rest of the article didn't have anything good in it because I killed myself after reading that sentence.

No it won't!

"Germany and Ghana drew 2-2 what was quite possibly the single best match of what's already been an absolutely bonkers World Cup." This is a pretty good summation of why I don't like soccer.

I have never seen a cat that looks like the one at 1:42 before. Is that a certain kind or just a very rare colour pattern? It's beautiful.

He fucks fish. That's his superpower.

Take an uncircumcised dick and pull the foreskin all the way back. Then pull it back a little more, so it tugs at the skin at the top of the dick. Voila! Benedick Cuminhersnatch.

So women think penises look weird (and they do) but a guy who basically looks like a human penis is attractive? Ok then.