This is missing "Buy the engine from the guys who made Backbreaker and learn how to make a football game that makes playing defense fun instead of tedious" so fuck 'em. Sherman will be on the cover this year but defense is still going to be like ripping your pubes out in clumps.

This is legit more fun than watching soccer.

"Stylemaster" is ironic, right? Because I GIS'd it and found 300 schlubs and Johnny Depp.

You know who tends not to agree with fedoras? Women.

Biggest and greatest are not the same things.

I can't wait to hear his delightful voice over the course of an entire video game! brb *kills self*

Gotta say that when I saw the clam chowder picture I was mentally preparing for a far grosser story.

Yes, AT Wash, AT SF, and AT Ari. I'm talking primetime HOME games, so maybe you should check some facts. They refuse to broadcast them because the games/fans are too boring. And everyone wants to see the Eagles. Hence, TWO MNF games (1 home, 1 away), TWO SNF games (both home games), a Thanksgiving game AND a rare…

Meanwhile, the Eagles have TWO Monday Night Football games (1 home, 1 away), TWO Sunday Night Football games (BOTH home games), the afternoon Thanksgiving game AND a special edition of Saturday Night Football. And they'll probably get flexed into more Sunday Night Football games in November/December. Grate jorb…

HOME primetime games, numbnuts. Why don't YOU check the schedule again and notice that other than the required home opener, there are ZERO home games in Seattle with a national audience. Your home games suck and are boring because your fans are annoying vuvuzelas.

Not more rings, actually. More ring. Our D couldn't finish it last year in the playoffs but I bet the offense would have done way better in Seattle than the Saints did. Might still have lost but at least it'd have been a real football game, not more boring Seattle noise bullshit. And never forget 7-9 ok? That was…

The mark of good art is that it makes you want to puke forever, right?

Nothing in your entire state compares to any part of Portland. That's science fact.

You guys only get 1 nationally televised game this year and it's because they're forced to have the opener at the Super Bowl winner's stadium. Because you guys make games suck and super boring/annoying. Was really hoping the Eagles got to play in Seattle during the playoffs because they don't require sound to…

"It just makes me wonder, like, what sorts of materials will we be able to make lips out of in the future?"

If you have no idea who Casper Smart is, this headline might make you think something called Smart Sexting exists, which seems like an oxymoron.

Men enjoy all sizes and shapes, but those men were being polite. Large breasts have a hypnotic effect on men, that's why the richest men are often with women who have the biggest, dumbest tits.

Things always clearly mean stuff when you make up your own reasons in your head. If you actually read the origins though, you'd know that wasn't true. But you were so sure of yourself! I do agree that soccer is useless.

And you... don't get jokes about large, wand-like objects in relation to a man with a name that is also a word to describe certain members of royalty.

I thought the exact same thing and yes, it definitely does.