This is the first election where I’m not really voting for somebody -- I’m just going to vote against someone else. Both of them are just not good.

I’ll put the Jose news in a completely separate category -- that’s just crazy. I’m not a Marlins fan but, as a former pitcher, I loved watching Jose throw,. He was incredible and if he stayed healthy was heading for a Hall of Fame career.

That won’t work. The Constitution prohibits irrational sentences.

Has anyone?

Then he’ll go up in the polls, and all we’ll hear about for the next two weeks is Trump’s Rump Bump.

“All stitched up and ready for Oxford,” he said.

#BroPa

I BET THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU SUCK A GODDAMN DICK!

I celebrate his entire catalog.

I think you could repeat my argument for either side. How the fuck can the Republicans lose an election when the Dem candidate was legitimately under threat of prosecution? Nominate Trump! How the fuck can the Democrats lose an election to a Republican candidate with an approval rating of 17%? Nominate Hilary!

“Yo, man, I just tried this incredible new circuit workout. You mope as hard as you can for 30 seconds, then sigh for 30 seconds, then sob for 30. Rest for 20 seconds, and do it again for 10 cycles. It’s hard core!”

You know what’s REALLY frustrating? That the Dems nominated the one person who could fuck up an election against this megalomaniacal asshole. To-wit: she needed to learn a lesson from the email scandal — “be open and honest.” That’s a pretty basic lesson. Instead, she catches pneumonia, but tells us it’s allergies.

I left LA when I was 18 — I could eat anything with no ill effects. Now I’m 46, and my ass hurts just thinking about Tommy’s. But in a good way.

Double chili cheeseburger with chili cheese fries? Yes please (but I was more of an In ‘n Out fan when I lived there).

Seems right. Other than the final 4 minutes, that Seahawks-Dolphins game was a complete offensive shitshow. And the Dolphins D isn’t that good.

Thanks. Guess I’ll just have to keep hitting “later.”

There is nothing pancake-y about Alexis Texas.

Great analogy. The Pelicans also have one colossal talent surrounded by piles of shit.

Is there any way to turn off those damn update reminders? I have an ancient iPad, and am not going to update it — but every night, I’m forced to go through a three-step process not to update because Apple doesn’t understand that no means no.

Figuring out who screwed up will turn into a Witch Hunt.