I had never seen this before, and it is now my favorite clip of the moment. Thank you!

This is why he wants to nuke the wind!

You gotta ask yourself which is worse: skipping this important meeting, not knowing when the meeting is happening, or thinking this meeting is “Niche” and unimportant.

Going through Trump’s mind: “I don’t like the way Melania and Ivanka look at this jagoff. His country doesn’t even have nukes and their money looks like it came from a Monopoly set. He’s not even that good looking. Certainly not anywhere as good looking as me. I bet he inherited his money. I started with nothing and ma…

Hung for treason? Why, no, ma’am: I like to think I’m hung for pleasin’!

Kinda wish Pan’d done the same as Buzz Aldrin — when he was being harassed by a Moon landing hoaxer — and punched him in the mouth.

Yup and she cries until I dig them all back out.

Yup and she cries until I dig them all back out.

I thought I’d seen this before! Well, I guess there’s nothing new in the world, so they just recycle stuff. Better for the environment.....

If your cat is anything like mine, those sparkly balls are going underneath all the furniture in like 5 minutes.

If your cat is anything like mine, those sparkly balls are going underneath all the furniture in like 5 minutes.

Unfortunately, because it’s an opinion, it’s neither. The bar for libel (which it would be, since it’s in print) is pretty high, and just saying, “You hate so-and-so” isn’t an actionable statement because it’s not something that can be proven or disproven. Which sucks, but does mean that I can say “Trump hates…

They hate Israel & all Jewish people 

*Extremely David Attenbrough voice*

Not really, states set up their election laws and must follow the minimum standard set by federal laws. Every single state is allowed to add extra stuff to be on their ballots afterwords. This doesn’t stop people from voting for him by writing in his name so it doesn’t violates anyone’s right to vote for Trump.

These ones smell like rotting garbage and sweaty assholes when cooked you don't want them.

I tried Jack In The Box once, and my ass played “Pop Goes The Weasel” for 3 days.

Trump Will NOT Lose to Sleeping Man.

Wait, so they were “visiting a friend” when they noticed they were out of juice, and their friend wouldn’t let them leave the car there to charge? 

It’s cheaper and no stupider than craft beers and it lets you get a buzz on. What’s to understand.

She’s Marie Antoinette with less self-awareness, somehow.

That photo looks like she’s posing with a Donald Trump impersonator... oh... well... I guess she sort of is.