For example?

I don’t understand why National Pizza Day is in winter making it a challenge for delivery workers. I would like to praise Daiya for making mozzarella soy cheese so my lactose intolerant gut can actually eat pizza again.

Then they should rip that half Old Testament off the bible off, or tell me which rules is explicitly says don’t apply.

I would be glad to tell them, it’s because their brainless leader is a pathological liar who is insane, has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the onset of dementia, all aggravated by stress, and is clear and present danger to everyone on the entire planet, if they ask me.

That’s a really cute argument, but I’m just telling you that if these people are looking for justification to hate lgbt they don’t have to dig too far into their holy book to find support for their views and to find the “infallible word of god” supports them.

I know plenty of Christians who seem want to cite the bible as the infallible word of god who for some reason don’t think Leviticus and Deuteronomy are parts of it. Recently I had fun with the part of the bible that says women on their periods are ritually “unclean” for seven days.

Maybe he can read the constitution and learn how to be president in summer school!

I’m so old I’m nostalgic for a time when playing tic-tac-toe on a Timex Sinclair, a game I had to type myself and then store on an audio cassette, seemed like magic.
The next level of magic was the first time I played shareware Doom in a small window because my 90s computer couldn’t handle the graphic demands.

I waiting for Trump and the Republicans to blame the Democrats who took over the House because “post-hoc, ergo propter hoc.”

All the churches have Levitticus in their bibles and therefore they all say:

It’s kind of fun to picture him falling back on that steep slope and imagine him just rag-doll rolling, and rolling, and rolling …

The will have to remove Putin’s penis first.

Honestly, the past couple years I’ve avoided the sound of Trump’s voice like it could curdle my brain, and only just recently I’ve watched from beginning to end his last SOTU and address to the nation last month, and both times I was completely BORED! He must have been a much better speaker when he was campaigning…

I keep forgetting we even have a Secretary of State, so that should give you an idea how serious I take these stupid allegations.

The next day I found out Trump dissed Pelosi by starting his speech and not waiting for Fancy to introduce him.

Ahhh, that’s why it was called a draft and not the final script?

I was with you up to the words “duck fat” Martha Stewart. I think double frying is also why my attempts at making sweet and sour pork at home fail.

I can’t believe it. It was so boring!

I hear after all the visitors leave the Ivanka look-alike sneaks off with a Trump look-alike for quality executive “Daddy Time.”