Butlerian Jihad!!!

That's extra rope so he can hang himself on Yggdrasil as an ode to his father.

This is spot on and I feel stupid for never having considered sales commission as an alternative.

There is ABSOLUTELY a gender issue. The reason I didn't go into it is twofold: a) it would've felt like a crowbar into the rest of this piece, and b) it really deserves its own article from someone who personally understands the nature of the interaction between sexism and waiting tables better than I do. I'm not a…

Excellent piece. Two extra points:

You know what tables I took the best care of? Large parties where I knew I was getting an automatic gratuity. Why? Because I gave a shit about my job, I just didn't want to go out of my way and bust my ass when I didn't know if I was getting fucked on the tip.

Oh, absolutely. I was pointing out that I've done restaurants as well, and your article fairly perfectly articulated why I would never go back to a pure restaurant. Generally I don't get treated that way in the bar that I currently am employed, and if I do, my regulars usually get to the offending party long before I…

"Can you imagine any other industry in which "well I'd go out of business if I paid my employees properly" would be an acceptable excuse? Shouldn't having employees who you pay be part of your business plan? Just saying."

There's a reason non-Americans find our tipping culture so patently baffling; to the residents of basically any other First World Nation, the idea that food service workers should make $2.13/hour and have their entire income subsidized by what essentially amounts to coerced charity doesn't just border on the…

I'd totally love a change to this. I tip because I don't want the server to pay for the fucked up system but I'd rather just pay more for the food at the outset.

Yes to all that, but: I could barely concentrate because the patron in the image left $2.32 to pay for a $2.69 tab. Not only did the cheapskate who came in and ordered FUCKING TOAST not tip me, he shorted me. Assface.

Okay, I'll choose to take you at your word, that it has happened at least twice. Okay, so that's two times.

It's in that little known book of the bible, Bigots 4:15 "Thou shall not use the bathroom unless thy junk is approved by your boss."

Exactly this. In India *almost* every sort of thing can be found covered with decorations - often neon and glittery - of Hindu religious iconography. Shirts? Yep. Puffy stickers for your scooter helmet? You bet. Pens? Got those too. Keychains? Plastic please! Do you want a dashboard or home ornament that is a…

The guy from the Universal Society of Hinduism explained that it's all about placement:

Is she really that popular, because I've never heard of herbivore.

I imagine there won't be a Greyjoy uniform, because we all know that Greyjoys don't sew.

And don't forget, husbands can't rape their wives. Or murder them. Men never do horrible things to their spouses. Stop. Wait. What are you googling? I swear it's true!