this looks like my godawful haircut/attempted redye to brown in the 10th grade. bad news, dude. don’t you have a stylist?

everything right now is boxy and tissue-thin/see through. EVERYTHING. i can’t buy a regular goddamn t-shirt these days, much less a button-down. fucking trendoid bullshit.

sending money to your family in another country to pay for grandma’s hospital bills sure causes fear and turmoil. fuckhead. the overwhelming majority of more recent immigrants embody “American” values far better than this fucking troll.

THANK YOU. celery can be lovely. the tough outer bits go into stock, the intermediate bits go into salads, and the lovely sweet tender center bits go straight in my mouth. om nom nom.

people and garnish. DON’T TOUCH THE FUCKING GARNISH. your disgusting sticky jam hands have been all kinds of places i don’t want to know about.
i love our bar at work because the lemons and limes are in a corner behind the water pitchers for servers, and anything involving cherries, olives, oranges, pickled beans and…

tangentially, fuck people who pay for things under $10 with $100 bills. i realize fast food employees have an employer-provided till, but i just find it irritating. personally it’s always my first or second customer of the day who wants me to break their $100 bill and i’m like MY PERSONAL FLOAT IS ONLY $80 I HATE YOU.…

mutually beneficial! you get to feel altruistic and your server feels appreciated. probably makes up for working on christmas.

this is the briefest and best celebrity story i’ve read.

people really make the stupidest comments. on a good shift serving (not even high-end/fine dining) i make twice as much as i did managing at a whole foods and 1.5 times as much as i would working union lighting gigs. obviously it’s variable, part-time, and not what i’ll be doing for the rest of my life, but it’s a…

YESSSS. this is what i do for fun/exercise/nerdy awesomeness.

1) fuck you, whichever series of apathetic incompetent middle management made this immense fuckup possible. i WAS middle management. stop making us look bad.

2) fuck unpaid training, what a scam. i worked two very short non-tipped shifts starting a new job recently (because training and POS systems). instead, they…

other interesting facts about sunchokes: they destroy your blood glucose levels. near-instant hypoglycemia (for this type 1 diabetic, anyhow).

i actually distracted my boyfriend and our friend/houseguest from their intense gaming campaign by laughing too hard at this.

re: Jelena’s story:
i had a table Saturday night that i was totally expecting to be like this. six 20something dudes, kind of unimpressed by everything, ordered a bunch of different stuff here and there for five hours, a bunch of crazy split items, had to tell them they couldn’t take their beers outside to smoke nor…

cue 1,259 vegetarians chiming in to say they don’t do this.

wicked cool. non-participation ribbon?

it’s Dirt Bag, not an entire article on lupus. snippets of info.

those conventions drive me batshit and i’m glad my job no longer involves attending them.
on the one hand, i am pleased that there are more options on menus and in stores for my father (genuinely celiac, but not so sensitive that he can’t eat a salad that he’s picked the croutons off once in a while). on the other…

oh god. we just had to deal with a post-wedding-reception party on Saturday where they thought that by making a 40-person reservation they were booking out the restaurant/bar. we blocked off half the room for them. the manager asked them in their email chain if they wanted to book out the entire place and they said…

nah. questions are fine. belligerence is not.

/dead