Even when I'm at a company dinner I still leave a few bucks on the table for the server. I don't trust how other people tip unless I see the amount myself.

I worked for several years as a barista at Starbucks. Once during a major, major rush a man skipped the line and register and came right up to me at the end of the bar where I was making drinks and tells me his tale. Apparently he had been in the day before and had gotten frappuccinos for himself and his wife and…

Yeah, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for him. I used to hold down a job a a grocery store, and I admit that I looked the other way a few times when genuinely homeless locals put a loaf of bread under their coats or whatever, but pricey food and alcohol at nice restaurants? Fuck this guy.

I went to graduate school on a full scholarship and assistantship. The assistanship took care of my basic living expenses, but I was by no means flush with cash. One of my fellow grad assistants, Lori, came from a similar background to me: upper-middle-class, nice family, well-educated. At this point (we were both age…

A lot of restaurants have a razor thin profit margin, if they make a profit at all. Many donate substantial amounts of food to the homeless.Definitely fuck this particular guy, he has no right to rob them.

I didn't know I had a roomate! Is that what got on the nightstand when I wasn't looking?

Here's our wrinkley on his first day home. Look at those toes! (His tummy feels like silk).

My mom was called to the school because they needed to explain the dress code to her. Apparently summer dresses and/sleeveless shirts were not allowed because "the boys might pull on them and expose the chest". I was in the first grade. My mother, the sweetest woman ever pulled herself to her full height (4'9") and…

I have tattoos. I start medical school in August. SUCK ON THAT

I feel ya, girl. I'm thinking about printing out cards to hand out in situations like this that say something along the lines of,"What you just said and/or did was potentially problematic and/or a fuckload of sexist bullshit. I would verbally correct you, but I am fucking exhausted from dealing with shit like this my…

Thank you. I'm afraid our American cousins believe that the internet and "everywhere" end at the border. There are, however, a couple of evangelical areas of Canada (I'm looking at you abbotsford bc) where I got a lot of Jesus stuff handed to me.

When I'm asked if I've found Jesus, I reply, "What? Have you lost him AGAIN?"

I teeter on the edge of atheist and agnostic and I have a canned response to anyone who starts trying to proselytize me: I just smile really big and cheerily say, "Already saved!"

While working in a bookstore, I once caught a customer going through the romance section, turning any faced out books backward. When I stopped her, she began to berate me for allowing pornography and sex books to be facing out for any young person to see. I calmly explained that it was corporate policy and they…

People who give out Jesus pamphlets instead of tips will always stand out in my mind.

I need them to bring back Back for Breakfast, the most heavenly, sharpest-scented grapefruit shower gel ever. The Body Shop grapefruit product smelled like a popsicle compared to the powerful citrus blast of Back for Breakfast. It could cure a hangover just by inhalation.