The worst part is, there is no other way IN THE WORLD to buy a full size bottle of dove body wash and big sexy hairspray.

While black yes. It's illegal to be black actually.

No, I just think you're not ready for the future. No offence but your opinion is wrong and she's giving us life, accept her as your lord and savior.

Exactly. In college I used to buy a six pack of something good, get good and buzzed and switch to my 30pack of lowenbrau/natty light/pbr because I didn't care what it tasted like then and I could pick up a 30pack of any of those three for like 8 dollars. Now pbr is 4-7 dollars for a can in a bar, 6-pack in the store.

Back when I used to date the hipster dudes of Seattle, they drank pbr because its all you can afford after blowing your entire paycheck on guitars. Unless you have a girlfriend with a decent job, then suddenly, inexplicably, you drink whiskey.

I really needed to get that off my chest. I feel so much better now. Thanks, guys.

I've got an idea for a sandwich. It's peanut butter, mild salsa, and chocolate syrup on a fried fish fillet stuffed with ground beef, capers, and marshmallows. Then you top it off with one of those little strawberry candies with the squishy stuff inside, and serve it with a little cup of lukewarm boxed Merlot for…

Hm. Take away the fried nasty ass hot beer crouton bomb, the ridiculous and horribly nasty pickled green tomato (which, if you want to get down to it, is so acidic as to clash with EVERY flavor out there, especially hot nasty beer) and you have a pretty good looking fried chicken sandwich.

Maybe not too many people would use it, but it would be nice if Facebook would implement a feature where each user can choose how they would like their account to be dealt with after their death. Similar to how Facebook asks you to choose "trusted contacts" in case your account is hacked and you need help getting…

Morning affirmations:

What kind of assholes need to make waking up so complicated??

Optimistic thought: this is an argument that true altruism exists.

Hooooold me closer, tiny haaaamster....

Right? I just found out an old dance teacher of mine is an anti-vaxxer. We don't currently talk. I finally asked her, "So, you would rather risk your children dying of entirely preventable diseases, rather than have them turn out to be LIKE MY SON? You are telling me that my son is literally worse than death?" FYI: my…

God, I just have to get this out here. My sis-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time. She was very in my face nature this, purified water that, I'm not going to work sleep all day do what I want holier than thou horrible to me throughout. I trudged along, felt heathy, happy, and fine, well loved, paid attention…

I use my liver and kidneys to flush my body of toxins.

The thing is, there actually ISN'T an autism epidemic. People treat it as "oh, there's been a HUGE rise in autism in the last 30 years!"