I fart on this song

Lets think about this. I wonder if this will negatively impact Oprah.

Barbara and Vernon were often put up in hotels when they went to visit Oprah

Man I love nerd jokes, and that one is particularly awesome. Here's another good one:

I hope she has a section on chemical burns.

Incredibly annoying. It was my first time encountering that sort of entitlement. Gross.

I was eating with a large group of friends at a mussels restaurant. There were probably 16 of us so it was pretty chaotic, but we all eventually got our food. My friend, who was sitting near me, ate her food and only afterwards realized that she had gotten the wrong flavor of mussels - like I said it was chaotic and I…

I think I can do that, no problem!

oh they were it eating ok they just wanted the lobsters and shaved truffle at the same time LOL plus they were making a huge scene about how we were ripping them off etc fucking assholes snooki wanna bees

This comment is a perfect illustration of why I will NEVER do one of these from the customer's perspective. If you're really complaining about your server saying "no problem," you need to take a long, hard look in the goddamn mirror, because that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Speaking of second-hand embarrassment, as a veteran, I've gone to dinner at places that offer a free or discounted meal on Veterans' Day, and I've seen incredibly rude and entitled behavior. There's usually a clearly stated list of what the Veterans' Special is, and I've seen grown-ass men demand the whole damn menu…

For me it was usually middle aged women that were the worst, but I would agree.

These stories pretty much reinforce everything I remember about serving: older women are the worst fucking customers on the planet.

unless its Venus de Milo bending over to show her butt cheeks in sheer lululemons.

money can't buy you class...or taste.

Anyone who can't take a line off their compact mirror in a 1x1 stall is no mate of mine.

This will be the first time in my life that I'll just be eating alcohol out of a bag from a spoon, so yeah, I'm right there with you.

I just read "beer gel" and had to go brush my tongue

Um, maybe I should seek counseling. Cause, with a guarantee that I wouldn't get eaten along with the soup, I would totally do this.