If we see a picture of you, would you look like someone getting themselves prepared for this impending conflict, or would you just be another fat guy with a neck beard that couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag? I mean, I’m also a chubby white guy who hasn’t been near a war, but I also don’t pretend to…

Until I can exchange Kinja stars for Reese’s Cups, they have no value to me.

I lost my privileges there long ago.  

You have to listen to others to learn things. Splinter blocked the entire commentariat to avoid listening to others.

Most of baraka's posts come across like something you'd shout at your parents the first Thanksgiving back from college.  "YOU'RE OUT OF TOUCH, DAD!"  

There is no nuance to be had here you, you...CENTRIST! Splinter knows that the best way to govern is for one group to get everything they want with no compromises.  How can that possibly be bad for anyone?  

Nick Offerman rules. 

“At least she doesn’t make the news on a daily basis for saying stupid shit, as her co-hosts do.”

Darren Rovell would be proud. 

Who keeps forcing you to watch the View?

If my local comic shop wanted my support, they wouldn’t have acted like dicks virtually every time I came in for my pull list.  Digital comics are awesome. 

“And if it is stifled, we all just need to push a little harder.”

I’ll be happy if we’re still a country long enough for someone to write a history about this time period.

Country club kitchen gigs are the worst. 

If “pins in my eyeballs” torture is a situation I somehow find myself in, my entire sex life is going to be confessed; An eyelash in there is bad enough.  

My favorite part of the comments on this article is everyone is bringing up issues that Reagan fucked up with his policies, yet there hasn’t been any overlap yet. That’s what a destructive force he was to this country. Whatever perspective you look at our country from, you’ll find something he intentionally…

I’ve been a lapse Catholic so long that I forgot all about Confirmation and its super lame gifts.

Oh the butt-puckering thing?  Sorry.  I hope you’ve already had lunch. 

You don’t know the struggle of being a chubby, middle-aged, white failure.  

They’re always wearing Jordan gear.  The cognitive dissonance is staggering.