“If anyone pulled a camera phone on my while I was doing my job, I would rip it from their hands and shove it straight up his or her ass.”

Always happy to see Leslie Jones anywhere.  She and I could be very happy together. 

Vontae Davis had a moment of clarity.  Good for him.  

Two whole days?!  There's still no power there and everything is flooded.  Have you ever experienced a natural disaster before?   The whole state has flash flood warnings, 300,000 people don't have power; where is your humanity?  

You’re in time out. Sit in the corner and think about what you've done.  

You should try following ethics instead.

That lady's Twitter account is nuts.  Conspiracy theories galore.  It's especially funny that she's ranting about corporate globalists all throughout her feed, but then complains about a corporation getting looted during an emergency.  It's a fucking dollar store, not God damn Best Buy.

The mailbag has stopped being funny for me. It’s not a Michael thing, it’s just the unrelenting stupidity from the people that write in week after week has left me feeling defeated. There are just so many of them out there, being dumb and bleating about “reverse racism” and all the other nonsense. I don’t know how the…

Monique forgive my dense-ness, but they list “2 used packages of medical aid".  What the heck does that mean?  

“Just run the presses,” Trump suggested. “Print money.”

They’re saying we’ll be getting 50+ MPH winds here in Raleigh.  We’ll lose power and have stressed out pets, but I think overall the city should be fine.  Fingers crossed.  Hope you already went to the store because I have never seen Food Lion like that yesterday.  Stay safe.  

Let’s go easy on receding hair and expanding waistlines.  Age comes for us all. 

If I am ever in a position of power, voting gets extended to an entire week and there are 4 times as many polling places. Way too many folks out there without reliable transportation, child care, or non-traditional work schedules to just decide issues in a 12 hour window on a Tuesday.  I would also make voting a legal…

As Bomani Jones pointed out, no one was burning any good pairs of shoes either.  It was just boring stuff.  

No lie.  That picture has been my laptop wallpaper for several months now.  

If any of this were ever about the flag, these same “Respect the Troops” would be shitting themselves over those “Thin Blue Line” American flags I keep seeing.

I know that what I look for in a superhero video game is the size of the puddles. Crazy fun, free flowing, web shooter based combat couldn’t possibly override my feelings about puddles.

Laughing at the hubris of the NFL owners is just delightful.  

Jason Whitlock is just disappointing as a human being.  

You mean that “Thin Blue Line” flag, right?