Our cockatiel is really nice. We let him hang out all over the house. Cage is for bedtime only.

Plus baseball is boring as hell anyway.

It appears that this “Open Box” deal means you’re buying someone else’s second favorite thermometer.

It appears that this “Open Box” deal means you’re buying someone else’s second favorite thermometer.

Quick cold treatment on an injury.

You didn’t watch it because it was terrible. Maya was amazing in it though. I haven’t started on “The Good Place” yet. It’s from the same folks that did Parks and Rec and Brooklyn 99 though, so it is in the queue. I want more seasons to stack up so I can properly binge.

If I bought something fancy and expensive, I would wear it to every fancy expensive event to which I was invited. Single use clothing does not exist in my world.

Maya Rudolph is fantastic in everything. I even watched that sitcom Will Arnett and Christina Applegate had on NBC just because of her.

This is mediocre Kinja.

I hope the person in the lead photo wearing a custom Miami Dolphins jersey is under 12 years old. If not, I am incredibly embarrassed for them and their entire family tree.

Finding out at the end of it that you were the Lily pad suuuucks so hard. Especially if they knew you were catching feelings and weren’t honest about what they were wanting.

It’s great to see these guys figuring this stuff out in their 20's. I was damn near 40 before I let go of that toxic masculinity and realized there is strength in admitting weakness.

Her brother is excellent at building a private mercenary army with no government oversight. That’s not worth nothing!

You realize you’re on Deadspin right?

I’ll say Joe Mazzulla.

Teachers have already spent 12 years educating the public. If people can’t figure out the value of an educated, literate workforce to society, how is a series of commercials going to counteract constant programming from Fox News?

It’s so nice to have a boss that will “go to the mattresses” for you. (For those of young enough to participate in the Kinja survey, “go to the mattresses” is a reference to “The Godfather”, not me hooking up with my boss)

I have known many dudes that didn’t want to work for a woman, although they never could express why. I am here to tell you all, it it so much more chill. I have worked for the same lady for 12 years now and she is awesome. Contrast that with my previous career and almost all my executive chefs were male, and only one…

Here’s one I never would have thought of before being a parental figure. The boy was about 4 or 5 at the time. I walked into the bathroom one morning, noticed how much grey was in my mustache, and decided to shave it off right then.

Now I know why I can’t get ungreyed on Deadspin. Ageism.

They were such a fun flash in the pan.