I’m pretty sure they’re just feckin’ idiots.

Well, if she doesn’t attend the meetings, how is she going to rewrite history later with her talking points? You wouldn’t want her to accidentally tell the truth, would you?

Oh, yes, according to a depressing number of Kansans, the wall is absolutely necessary. In fact, it’s the only thing that will save us from [fill in the blank with the boogeyman of the moment].

It seems like every time I manage to crawl my way out of the greys, they go for one of those shake-ups and throw 90% of us back into the pit of despair. It’s annoying as hell to see one of Tomato’s incarnations running amuck while I’m continuously stuck in the fog... {sob}

“The phrase “I couldn’t control you,” would have never been uttered to another White man.”

Hey, Elaine, from one white woman to another - please feel free to shut the fuck up any time now. Christ on a cracker, woman. 

She’s gotta be a Darlene. Crystal and Misty have to keep their looks (or at least wear more makeup) so that the tips are better when they’re working as “exotic dancers.”

And frankly, if I was the current Queen, I’d ask for the damn thing back. It’s not as though we deserve it any more.

I don’t know where you worked or what you did at the Sheriff’s Office, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you were neither a dispatcher nor a police officer, because you’re absolutely incorrect on both the law as well as routine police procedure. 

Well, it’s not as though we don’t know what his attention span is like.

In this case, though, contractor is actually the correct term, because they’re referring to the companies that are contracted by the government to provide goods or services, not to the individual employees.

So Democrats are the only people who work for the government, and they keep the entire country running while simultaneously sitting at home, living the high life on welfare and food stamps.

Except no, a private citizen being paid for a speaking engagement is in no way, shape, or form in violation of the emoluments clause. 

Just put down the pipe and back away, honey. No matter how many times Sean, Rush, or Ann insist otherwise, there’s no evidence that HRC did any such thing. 

I guess they assume that the fans attending the game (a) know where they live and (b) know what their national anthem is, so additional reminders are unnecessary.

It’s not terribly likely that the homeless turned out in droves to vote for Trump.

I’m not a supporter, but technically, he’s a hebephile, not a pedophile.

Newsflash: The penalty for underage drinking is not sexual assault.

This video would have been a terrible idea even if he hadn’t published it within roughly 37 seconds of being indicted for a felony sex crime.

I assume that he has no friends, because a friend would have slapped him upside the head and said, “Jesus Fucking Christ, Kevin, are you out of you goddamn mind?”