So Democrats are the only people who work for the government, and they keep the entire country running while simultaneously sitting at home, living the high life on welfare and food stamps.

Except no, a private citizen being paid for a speaking engagement is in no way, shape, or form in violation of the emoluments clause. 

Just put down the pipe and back away, honey. No matter how many times Sean, Rush, or Ann insist otherwise, there’s no evidence that HRC did any such thing. 

I guess they assume that the fans attending the game (a) know where they live and (b) know what their national anthem is, so additional reminders are unnecessary.

It’s not terribly likely that the homeless turned out in droves to vote for Trump.

I’m not a supporter, but technically, he’s a hebephile, not a pedophile.

Newsflash: The penalty for underage drinking is not sexual assault.

This video would have been a terrible idea even if he hadn’t published it within roughly 37 seconds of being indicted for a felony sex crime.

I assume that he has no friends, because a friend would have slapped him upside the head and said, “Jesus Fucking Christ, Kevin, are you out of you goddamn mind?” 

Ah, so I see you’ve met my family...

Oh, c’mon. RBG and Uncle Keef won’t be alone. Betty White will be with them. 

Because she should have known that 6 years later, a semi-sentient mango would occupy the Oval Office. 

“Through the use of simple arithmetic, a calendar, and her own big brain, The Notorious RBG could have figured out it might have been prudent to step down when Obama had the numbers to name an acceptable replacement for her.”

Military intervention (or lack thereof) has caused more than a few problems for the world, but no, it is NOT the fault of the military. It’s the fault of the politicians who use the military to play geo-political games. 

You know, I don’t believe in any sort of diety, but if one would like to prove me wrong, there’s a striking-down thing that might do the trick...

I don’t know if the ref insisted on it, but the public hair cutting isn’t all that uncommon, at least in my experience. Back in the day when I was a team statistician, I routinely carried a decent pair of scissors and a package of disposable razors in my purse. I gave more than one impromptu haircut on the spot when a…

Well, while you’re noting, then perhaps you might also note that the share of the wealth in the hands of the top 20% has also gone up significantly since then.

“You never see a “states rights” defense used to discharge state school loan debt or ban offshore drilling.”

I personally want to see Will McEvoy running the whole thing.

I don’t know what Joyful is smoking, but we all need to know. Immediately. Because we need to get that shit recalled or something before it infects the rest of us.