At least they have guaranteed single-payer self-ownage insurance, unlike this toilet bowl of a country.

“Jeff, we’ve got exciting news. Instead of going out there every 5th day for a terrible team..”

Don’t worry, I think I spot a police spokesman, smacking his palm menacingly with a nightstick, and I think he’ll clarify everything

That’s definitely the worst Mr. Men/Little Miss book character I’ve ever seen.

No idea that the late Garry Shandling and the late Robert Pastorelli had a kid together.

I thank you for your service in Weekend at Bernie’s 2-ing Al Davis for 20 years thereby postponing the ascent of Mark and the move to Vegas.

Where’s he gonna go, Imaginary Madrid

This may not be one of his most well-regarded works, but on the plus side, Janet Perry.

“Can you imagine a world without lawyers?”

His name is

I just substituted “Trump Presidency” for “McGregor-Mayweather fight” and you won’t believe what happened next! (I typed a comment)

It certainly seems like a much better deal for your average reactionary, gun-crazy sociopath than the “go all the way down to Arizona and Texas as an unwanted Border PAtrol-supplementing Minuteman” scam during the Dubya years.

“What am I, 7+ feet of chopped liver?” — L.A. Laker Wilt Chamberlain

“Too disturbing, Kurdt!”

If a man wants to have sex with polygons that’s his business and not the government’s.

(Bill Walton symbolically pulls tie-dyed shirts from Lithuanian rotation with an Instagram post that just says “Maybe There Weren’t a Lot of Brothers at a Typical Grateful Dead Concert, But Still— Not Cool, Man”)

In the Fox Studios, some people say

My favorite player growing up (Jose Cruz) just had his grandson drafted by the Astros*, so if I could just get a lift to the Cane and Mobility Scooter Outlet Store it would be greatly appreciated.

I want to dig up and re-animate Alexis “America is the Land of Enlightened Self-Interest” de Tocqueville, show him the news, and see if he goes running back to the sweet embrace of the grave.

He’s definitely #2 overall good. Danny Ferry, Shawn Bradley, Keith van Horn, Stromile Swift, DARKO, Hasheem Thabeet—- this is select comapny.