“By the time they threw Mandela in the pokey, I already had won three majors. Mr. Jones should take a page out of his book and revoke his own diplomatic immunity. I have changed my name to Gary Not Playering Around. P.S. PANCAKES, DELICIOUS PANCAKES.”

I DIDN’T GET A HARUMPH OUT OF THAT GUY

Stage two of the defense plan: write your preferred verdict on a cocktail napkin and hand it to the judge. Spell the decision “Not guillty.”

But what of Liechtensteinian 11th tier over 90 highlights.

Maybe it’s a subtle dig at the Cardinals’ front office vis-a-vis the Astros.

I thought Tiberius, who was once competent as a general, but was old, venal, decrepit, and uninterested in ruling once he finally got into power post-Augustus.

♬ How self-pitying can one guy be?

At least I still have my near-mint copy of Radioactive Angela Davis #1 (1977)

If it’s any consolation, Nashville hockey fans (for some reason that phrase has caused my computer to crash three times), all hockey-related stories will be pushed onto this site’s page 3 by the sheer volume of 2016-2017 NBA post-mortem within 24 hours.

“Penguins fans celebrate victory by vomiting food into their children’s mouths”

At least Caesar was halfway competent, Trump is more Caligula or Tiberius, if my I, Claudius memory is correct.

It’s like Sunset Boulevard for millennials.

I liked the NBA Finals back in the day,  where a full-on melee precipitated by a scrubby jagoff and which resulted in probably no fewer than three Hall of Famers getting punched led to no suspensions.

It seems Ricky was shipped out after only one year, then they started adding the big men apart from Laimbeer, as well as getting Chuck to be the coach. Crazy to think that at about age 55 he only had 1 year experience as an NBA head coach (the blowful early 80s Cavaliers).

That was a very young team (avg experience was about 3 years) that included not only the Bad Boys building blocks but also Ricky Pierce, who went to tear it up for years for the Bucks n’ Sonics.

I place the blame squarely at the foot of the folk singer who was wailing about bringing his a love a chicken that had no bones. That just encourages aggressive behavior.

Julius Erving. ‘83 76ers.

Great, all I got was a pile of magic beans out of mine.

“Thumb Ligaments And You” “Anti-Social Teen With Eight Personality Disorders Raised in a Game-Filled Skinner Box Does Something Horrible” “The One Millionth Anatomically Correct Super Smash Brothers Mod!”

Unpopped collars, failure to have at least three pairs of sunglasses on one’s person, and unbraided belts all result in kangaroo court fines of $50 (or 11 bitcoins) a pop.