Headline: Boras Boor, Ass

It’s tough for a Pirate to both pick up his 3rd base coach and generate enough speed to score, what with the eyepatch and wooden leg

Can’t mess with somebody who used to work for FDNY. PS Also forgot about Bruce Glover (Crispin’s Dad, and one of the gay hit men in Diamonds are Forever) playing an annoying, disabled coffee shop patron who used early wi-fi (I think) to get the daily trivia question right, thereby enabling him to get a free coffee.

And for shit’s sake, mention Doug, if even in passing. Dude’s a Trump voter, especially in terms of his interaction with the convenience store owner.

What’s funny is that Seymour is almost Crumb in fictitious form, especially in terms of his misanthropy and love of old 78s. And then you had James Urbaniak as a sympathetic (if younger) Crumb in American Splendor a few years later.

Hey, not every movie can be Crash.

So he’s good looking but not much of a prospect? And this is snooker, right?

I guess we have to generationally go through it: after all, Robbie van Winkle of suburban Dallas became Vanilla Ice, Miami street thug (one of my college roommates went to high school with him).

It reminds me of Nelson Muntz coming out of Naked Lunch in the theater: “I can think of TWO things wrong with that title!”

I treat the shot title “America’s Got Talent” as suspiciously as I do the show title “Ghost Adventures.”

This is a direct ripoff of my early nerdcore album, Black Chilcutt.

Reactionaries only have one cardinal rule now, the same one since 1980: that which pisses off libs is good regardless of whatever ideological paradoxes/hypocrisies in myself that it might cause. Those who are libs are those whom I have pissed off, naturally. A closed-loop within a closed-loop movement.

There’s always Plan B.

(nobody responds) “Racist”

His gravitational pull should open some passing lanes for McCaffrey and Samuel.

Maybe they should convert him to Celsius or Fahrenheit for an instant reduction.

(writing old-man letter to the editor entitled FRUIT OF THE POISONOUS TREE)

(Freeman’s autograph is all fucked up because he was forced to do it with his broken wrist) (kid starts crying again) (Braves give him $500 to not show up at the park any more)

I haven’t the foggiest idea what constitutes a hate-able hockey team, my state is bereft of hockey (Dallas is part of Oklahoma). Plus the Pens were awesome in NHL ‘94, especially when I created The Human Tornado to sit in goal.

She has one that sounds like a harmonica, so that when it goes off I think there’s a boxcar bum that’s infiltrated the office.