I can't wait for her take on all the times her "inner goddess" is feeling things.

Interesting to note. I was wrong about that (my bad!). The petroleum part still gives me the willies though.

I think an advantage to being a Floridian (which I am not) is that watching the evening news must be fascinating. The Miami Dolphins won the game...we'll be right back with more information about the doctor who skipped through a hospital in his underwear and glitter-bombed everyone...here's the weather…

The thing that icks me about Vaseline is that you're rubbing petroleum jelly on your skin; you're literally rubbing an oil derivative on your skin. Also, it supposedly doesn't moisturize your skin. It just gives you a coating to make you think your skin is hydrated when it really is just making you more dry.

BUT HAVE YOU READ THIS?! (I know I've posted this before but it deserves multiple posts)

I couldn't resist

ACTUALLY showering every day is sort of an American thing. I'm notsaying that foreigners smell or have bad hygiene, which is a stupid stereotype, or that there aren't people that shower a lot too. BUT Americans due have a preoccupation with cleanliness and sanitizing sprays and Purell and toilet seat covers, etc. that…

I am still TRAUMATIZED after seeing this picture of a botched procedure for filler injections to thighs for "Miss BumBum" (actual name of the competition).

And this is why I get all my medical procedures done at a hospital, even for something as simple as an endoscopy.

Geez Louise I must be the only person who found that video adorable. My host mother in France used to have a chicken and it would come when its name was called and sit on her lap. Chickens rock!

I should keep this poster on my person at all times too...maybe I'll get it tattooed on my hand.

My accidents pale in comparison, but here are a few:

I am buying this. I am ashamed.

God I would get this done. I wonder how long your butt stays perky?

I am so attracted to Michael Sheen. His bow tie in Masters of Sex always does it for me.

At my high school you could pay extra to have your acne photoshopped away. THAT I can get behind. Making kids look thinner in a culture that holds up borderline emaciated as the ideal body type at an age when kids are, statistically, more susceptible to developing an eating disorder is just plain wrong and stupid.

I went for a run along the Charles River in Boston Wednesday night when the weather started getting REALLY cold and it was one of my worst decisions. I ran a marathon in freezing rain and strong winds in February and this was So.Much.Worse. I was so weak and tired even though it was a quick 3 mile run. I'm sticking to…

There's a Cuppa Coffee (Australian coffee shop) down the street from me. The people that work there are so, so nice but the coffee is terrible! I will go there for Tim Tams though. Starbucks should start selling those.

I lost a few pounds after I got my IUD put in. It was magical. No more pills. No periods. My pants are a little looser. This fly girl below is a symbol of me. A smarty pants who knows her science and a vagina that is as happy as someone holding a Lisa Frank trapper keeper.

My friend and I are having a date night to see the NC-17 version. We plan to down some margaritas first or we may class it up by smuggling cheap champagne and a crazy straw into the theater. Also, I am ashamed to say I will buy this soundtrack, if only for the Beyonce Crazy in Love remix.