"The imaginary bar that fills up as the night goes on measuring how down the girl is to have sex."

I agree the spelling is pitiful. Something tells me this guy hasn't been on many job interviews, or else he would know that (good) employers don't ask a candidate about their family life, would probably prefer if he didn't have children if he was hired, and don't care about his love life.

I love the CMA red carpet. It's like a Real Housewife and Southern Belle Barbie crashed into a gun show in hicksville and this is what came out.

Whilst I can see the logic behind not allowing rings or hand jewelry, I think its worth highlighting that if you have ever eaten food at a restaurant, then you've eaten food made by people with rings on. Most likely. your food has been handled with bare hands by the kitchen staff unless they're real sticklers about…

I prefer to call it the Stride of Pride.

This shit.

"CONTRACEPTION Can Prevent Unwanted Pregnancy" was breaking a two-year-old law that requires that "childbirth and adoption" be taught as the "preferred options to elective ABORTION." Glad to know you have the science right.

Dear CNN:

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS THE DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN?!

Words of Goopopotamus.

I had a couple of chemical peels to get rid of some melasma on my face before my wedding (hello dark skin above my lip that looked like a mustache) and it was amazing. It cost about $200 a pop. If I could do series of these my face would be flawless.

I'd kill to have a memento mori of my own.

Humble brag: Julia Roberts says she's "taken a big risk in not having had a face-lift."

Remember when we were all children and our parents told us not to talk to strangers? Or that we should try to get away from strangers (or yell and find an adult) that follows us or make us uncomfortable? I think this applies in adulthood too and is a perfectly valid response to say when people remark, "Well she didn't…

COTD!

This dog has been alive from before 1912 to 1924+. She was an adult dog in season 1. I think it has been time for Isis to go for some time now (although not because of her bloody name) unless she wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for oldest dog ever in a time when medicine was shitty for humans, let…

What the cat really means when he tries to sabotage your work.