The police would have to shoot me first if they threatened to kill my pet.

Off topic, but why are the models ALWAYS ALWAYS white for Halloween costume ads? Seriously, look for yourself. http://www.partycity.com/category/hallo…

I can't stop thinking about how weird her vagina would look with the ridiculously elongated torso and absence of hips. Also, camel toe.

Sparkly leotards for the masses!

My reaction to the Ebola freakout.

I'm just going to this here. I have a twisted sense of humor.

I always like to go there when I feel like getting diagnosed with Japanese encephalitis for a minor headache. I bet they have a special ebola diagnosis now to increase the public overreaction.

I guess my blood type tells me to eat Reese's Pumpkins. I mistakenly had a bag at my desk at work (THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA. DON'T DO IT) and I was ashamed for maintenance to see all the wrappers in my trash. It looked like a woman with five vaginas on five periods was eating her feelings.

DONE WORKING NOW!

This is perhaps my biggest nightmare. I have bipolar disorder, self-harm and I've been committed to a psychiatric hospital or been held in a psych ward several times. Even worse, I work in the same hospital system where I've been treated so I'm terrified of people seeing my records and judging me if I happen to have…

I would read the HELL out of a Snape story, but I have an unabashed love of Alan Rickman, even when he's wearing a wig and a dress.

I always wanted her to die more that the Dark Lord.

My dream job would be to work in the makeup department on this show, but I think it would take the googly moogly out of the show for me to see a zombie sipping a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.

Hone Boo Boo cancelled? Good. I feel sad for the children and Mama June seems to need psychological or medical help.

But do books, plays, etc. ever live up to the films, though? I always temper my expectations based on that. Normally I don't like movie musicals, but I'm a sucker for dark fairy tales as opposed to the happy, sugar-coated-until-your-teeth-hurt variety (Frozen can melt into a puddle for all I care). I actually think…

When I have a baby, I am going to legit carry copies of the MA statutes for breastfeeding and dare people to tell me to go somewhere else. The attorney general can file a civil action if a business/government building, etc. violates the mother's right to breastfeed, but I'm assuming you would have to show an extreme…

I am 100% against this new, dehumanizing law; however, as a law student, I read the court's amendment to the statute and would urge Jezebel and commentators to check their facts on the issues at hand. The minor's confidentiality WILL be maintained unless the court permits it and she is entitled to have a lawyer to…

Side Note: I hate that news outlets are speculating about Michael Brown's juvenile record and/or past criminal history. Law 101 - except in certain circumstances (e.g. multiple DUIs) prior convictions (if he has any) are inadmissible in court. The prosecution can't use it. Also, I agree with all the other bullshit…

Actually, I have a friend with serious Crohns and she said her body only absorbs about half of what she eats. Added to the fact that she can't eat a lot of things (goodbye pizza and cupcakes and everything delicious), she ends up (un)naturally skinny. My father in law is the same way too.

"That coat of raspberry juice on the bunny's mouth is reminiscent of either the Joker's mouth or you know, fresh blood." Remember BUNNICULA!