To everyone saying it is just a joke: That's the point.

Said it on Facebook this morning, saw it a lot in the Gawker comments - time to away with internet anonymity. No censorship, just post whatever you want to post with your first and last name next to it, linked to your Facebook account or email address. If you think it's okay to taunt a grieving 25-year-old with…

You know what I think? I think anyone who's never stood and stared suicide in the face should shut the fuck up. I think anyone who hasn't cried themselves to sleep and wake in the morning only to find fresh tears are already falling should sit the fuck down. I think anyone who doesn't understand what it's like to be…

Prior to Kinja, I headed the trollpatrol team for Jezebel, as many people here know. We dealt with rape gifs, violent pornography, racism, and harassment regularly, but there was a system in place with which to have it reported and dealt with. Banning didn't usually result in the same person immediately making a new…

I was dating this guy, and I was attracted to him on an intellectual level because he was so creative, but the physical attraction wasn't very high. He was kind of an awkward lover - if we switched from me on top to him on top, instead of rolling over, he'd stand up on the bed while I laid down. And not only would he…

I was on a third date with a guy we'll call Joe. I hadn't had sex for a while and had offered on previous dates, but he wanted to wait, so I respected that. We go to the house that Joe is housesitting at for friends and start making out in the bedroom. I rip all of my clothes off in one smooth motion, tossing them to…

Sigh. The first time I attempted anal he assumed liquid dial would work just as well as lube. *SPOILER ALERT*

The first time is the worst time. I was 17 and this guy I worked with 'dared' me to sneak into his house and do it with him (he was a virgin too). I told my mom I was staying at a girlfriend's house and then snuck into his parent's house undetected and into his bedroom. We were both too awkward to just start making…

If you think Suri Cruise was created to backup an image of a sham-marriage, you're not looking deep enough. Suri Cruise was created for one thing and one thing only: world domination. She is the force that will align the rebels and bring the revolution.

"As a Jew, and as someone who has been raised to always support Israel (which, according to my parents, is my spiritual home, although I have never been)"

True story; I once got banned on Jezebel for using all caps like this in a comment. It was an automatic thing that would get you zapped, no question. What can I say, I like using all caps! Funny how times have changed, isn't it?

Heck, free pizza is the whole reason I chose to be gay.

Why the hell would you ruin a perfectly good pastry with Red Bean? Red Bean tastes like a Crushed Gravel and Disappointment Aspic. Are we 100% sure Red Bean isn't made from jellied cigarette butts? I mean, it would explain a lot.

Simon from Misfits looked good tho.

Not all white feminists.

If buttsex is so unnatural, then why is poop dick-shaped?

RING THE BELL IN FLAVORTOWN SQUARE BECAUSE GUY REVERE IS RIDING HIS 4-COURSE FLAVOR HORSE THROUGH THE STREETS TO WARN YOU ABOUT HIS BRAND NEW CASH MONEY DELI BRO-GIE JAM PACKED WITH MORE MEAT THAN A DRUNK SORORITY GIRL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. AND THIS AIN'T NO GAY-OLI MY FRIENDS, OUR STRAIGHT GANGSTER VOLCANO AIOLI SAUCE…

They are made of red. Just red.

Righteous Rojo Rings $12