BK is the only national fast food chain with a veggie burger option; White Castle offers two (a mediocre veggie and an awesome black bean) but I recently found out the hard way how many parts of the country don’t have White Castle.

“I came here to post this” he says, nervously pulling down his jacket sleeves so nobody can see the fact he has a fucking Ghostbusters 2 tattoo

I clicked on this review by accident and read it anyway, and now I think I probably need to start watching this show because this isn’t ANYTHING LIKE I expected.

Okay, uh...this review REALLY makes me want to see this, now. I’m not comfortable with that.

DO YOU WANT JAWBREAKER TO BREAK UP AGAIN, ASSHOLES? THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE JAWBREAKER BREAK UP AGAIN! IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH FOR BLAKE SCHWARZENBACH TO END A BAND, REMEMBER THORNS OF LIFE?! OF COURSE YOU DON’T!

I am literally just now learning this ISN’T a Nicholas Sparks movie. This isn’t snark, I swear, I just saw a commercial for it on Hulu or something this weekend and my brain must have just filled in enough blanks to make me think it was.

How the fuck has nobody commented on this yet? Jeff Rosenstock is one of my favorite songwriters ever, and I’m so happy to see him blowing up like he has been post-BTMI.

My name is Tim Allen. I live in Michigan and started public school right when Home Improvement began airing on TV. You can imagine how this has gone.

I love all of this, where are you from and when do you want to play a show together?

You’re my hero.

How do I submit my band for this? We’re called Bathroom of the Future and I frequently rely on this list to make me feel a little less bad about what we chose to call ourselves.

This review totally snuck by me until just now and I REALLY wanted to see this movie. I love The Last Detail, I love the entire cast, I love Richard Linklater, so I’m pretty pre-disposed to like this already. Curious as to why he had to change the character’s names, but Bryan Cranston taking over for Nicholson is a…

Quantum of Solace really deserves to be re-evaluated; it’s real weird in the context of other Bond movies but it’s GOOD weird, and there’s aspects of it I prefer to either Skyfall or SPECTRE. It drags real bad during the middle, but it’s not completely without merit by any means.

Imagine a world where Jordan Peele decides to follow up Get Out with Freddy’s Dead. As much as I would like to see that, it would be an equally insane proposition.

Hey! This sidewalk is for REGULAR WALKIN’, not FANCY WALKIN’

Friend, I don’t know shit about the Yankees, but as a lifelong fan of pro wrestling I promise I completely understand this feeling.

Yeah, holy shit, I just read EVERY COMMENT on a SOUTH PARK EPISODE and it only took slightly longer than it did for me to eat this pizza I just had. This must be what the post-apocalypse feels like.

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the kid’s deaths were a reference to the Werner Herzog texting-and-driving commercial, although no doubt someone has beaten me to this.

You know what? Screw it. I like this. I can’t eat 90% of what the guy cooks but if he’s just gonna go around making people happy with aioli burgers I’m not gonna fault him for dressing like his dad still drives him to Warped Tour 2002.

You. I like you.