Yes, this a thousand times this. Fuck these sound systems and the shit jock rock crap blaring between plays. Fuck that, hard.

Kaolin Clay's asshole dumbfuck move makes the ButtFumble look like Hail Flutie in comparison. And who would name their kid after Kato Kaolin? Come on, the timing is just right.

Has anyone said "I'd let her trash my cobra any time" yet?

There is also always at least a portion of every Billy Joel song that is stolen from, or closely imitates, some other song, so it could be that, rather than the rhythm section, that accounts for the decent bits.

Being a "bro:" Its not just for dudes anymore.

This is just blatant stats-hogging, isn't it? he just wants more completions and TDs even in futile games. It seems a little tawdry. Its like some rock bands call themselves, oh, The Rolling Stones, and they are at team, and others call themselves Bruce Springsteen and that crowd of people behind him. Its now the…

Drew, in the criminal law, the culpable mental states are, in descending order of culpability, Purposeful, Knowing, Reckless, and Negligent. They are supposed to represent the different states of "guilty mind." The penalties for purposeful or knowing assault would have worse. To say he was reckless is a bit…

So whenever I see that NFL ad for this "No More" campaign, I keep thinking to myself, "no more, like it was OK up till now, but from now on, no more?" There is a joke amongst law-talking guys like I used to be, about the famous example of an improper question, "when did you stop beating your wife." But based on the…

Don't get him started on airplane food.

Hey you kids, get your selfies off my lawn, and out of my NFL.

Wasn't there another commercial that featured a "chevordillac?"

Millhouse once said to Bart, the worst trauma is not when your dad walks in on you, its when you walk in on your dad. Not that it happened to me, mind.

A guy I knew in high school and then when we went on to the same University kinda got caught masturbating, when they found his body, with his dick in his hand and the extension cord around his neck tied to the closet door handle, yeah, auto-erotic asphyxiation. It was really sad but also weird, but sad, ya know? It…

Its like having a living fossil on your street. Does he take off the T-tops and cruise around blaring "Slow Ride?" Why did I assume it has T-tops? Is the owner Disco Stu?

I doubt it could do that, uphill. I have been in a plain old, non-camper-encumbered 1980s vanagon, and it could not always maintain 55 mph. It was a diesel, though.

It might make a nice camper if you could weld the front end of a trailer on to the front of it so you could hitch it to a vehicle to pull it.

They should just let the cheerleaders ritually blow the footballers there in the auditorium during the pep rally, in a synchronized ceremony, they could make it all beautiful and stirring, while the band plays some rhythmic number to egg them on. Then there would be no time for teachers to be blowing players, and pep…

Only "In Your Eyes" would be right.

I would eat a pair of teens for lunch. Oh, wait, he said "double" teens. Never mind.

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