My vagina just clamped shut like a bear trap.

Definitely assumed this was some weird religious reformulation.

I hope his inner monologue reads like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead.

A big chef’s salad. By the end of most weeks we’ll typically have some lettuce and a hodge podge of vegetables / meats that probably have a day or two left of still being good. I’ll occasionally swing by the grocery store for more lettuce to throw into the mix. Most of the time, it turns out pretty tasty, and we…

Fritata or quesedilla. Usually fritata.
Cook everything together, add lightly whipped eggs, bake/broil. filling, healthy as long as your leftovers are healthy, fast.

When I was about 12, yahoo chat rooms were at the height of their popularity, and so was the internet stranger-danger paranoia because widespread home internet was still new.

I am so happy to hear this. Really!! This has tortured me for a few years now.

Ugg. Why is this an ok question? Another time, after I had apparently lost the baby weight, a client asked in front of other co workers “how’s the baby?” I said excuse me and he doubled down and repeated it. I told him I hadn’t had a baby and my co worker kindly chimed in “thank god, right?” Laughter all around.

i pretended to be socially and emotionally well adjusted for awhile but convinced no one

So about ten years ago when my son was around 13 we had to go to Lowe’s for about the tenth time in two weeks – this time for paint for the bathroom. As we walked in, knowing my son’s commitment to a role, smarts, and incredible precocity, I told him the plan that had just occurred to me. He agreed.

I once pretended to be a friend’s father and told an obnoxious bill collector to stop calling me looking for my “son” because he had died. My friend had used a cash advance place a couple years ago and put my number down as a reference, leading to various calls from various “agencies” claiming that they were coming…

I pretended to be straight for 20 years. Does that count?

I sometimes pretend that I’m GhostofCourtneyStoddensBoobs. But who here doesn’t?

Add a hint of truffle oil and some chervil make an amazing compound butter for a beef tenderloin, or as was already mentioned pasta or grilled corn. Good stuff!

I’ve always made my stock in a slow cooker because I’m lazy and making it in a crock pot is very much “set it and forget it.”

This trick works well, I’ve tried it for both cilantro and parsley

Other cool tricks that work for me:

Green onions/scallions: wrap them in a paper towel (or real towel, whatever) and store them in the drawers - works real good like and lasts weeks. I tried the above water trick on them and no such luck

Lettuce: remove…

The thing that Kaitlin misses on that recipe is that Sichuan pepper corns need to be TOASTED before they are ground up and used! I find that they don’t exhibit any of their mouth-numbing flavor unless I do that.

Everything she wore in Auntie Mame too. Flawless.

UH:

Rosalind Russell in The Women.