There are off-brand (HEB) here in Texas... cheezits and tortilla chips as well.

if that were true every other story would be pulled from /r/relationships because I GOTS A PROLLEM

God I hope someone is getting paid for all this promotion.

OH MY GOD.

I do that too. I actually text it to my friend, “Yo, Weiner, 3 o clock, I’m gonna RAPE you!”

Nothing tastes as sweet as Scalia’s bitter tears.

GodDAMN wickerwitch that is an amazing story.

I once had an elderly man at a Lion’s Club lunch make eye contact with me, raise his fist in the air, an twist it at me. Like do the Beyonce Put A Ring On It move but with a fist instead... that’s what he did. Not shake it. Twist it. I walked over (which, when he saw me walking over, he rolled his eyes, extra fuck…

work showers = me thinking you have no real friends and have to beg for shit at work.

I’m reading this like a bridal shower, which is separate from a bachelorette (hen) party.

When we got married, my husband’s big brother insisted on hosting a “tool shower” (heh. tool.) for my husband. I think he did this in large part as an attempt to edge out my husband’s best man selection, because anyone who knows my husband knows he 1. hates people staring at him 2. has very exacting standards and…

I wish they were but apparently a lot of them are in the 30-45 demo, in my facebook feed, and attended my high school or college.

haha actually after I posted this comment I investigated and found this recipe for the sauce:

Hahaha it is like smelling salts to bring me back to sense. Yes, that’s right, he does!

I don’t think it is a smoke screen, I think he is genuine, which kind of scares me MORE. Like, the best-intentioned of men can still do horrible things, look the other way, enable systematic awfulness all around. They aren’t all Palpatines just being terrible monsters.

For me, the chicken is good, but the fresh lemonade, waffle fries, and the southwest BBQ sauce (what is in that? if someone could tell me, I could stop eating there all together) that gets me to shame-eat in my car despite their truly horrendous politics.

STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME LIKE YOU, POPE.

I’ve been waffling (no pun intended) with my boycott of Chick-fil-A for a while, but now that I know birds might FUCKING ATTACK ME for sneaking in to get my sweet sweet nugget + southwest BBQ + waffle fry + lemonade fix, I might actually stay away for good.

All in my permanent collection! It is funny, the parts of Dr. Katz I didn’t like as a kid are some of my favorite parts now, that show was so quietly clever.