The presto household is one divided on one particular kitchen cleaning habit:

I'm a morning person. And an extrovert. I'm married to a non-morning introvert who never gets enough sleep (he's halfway through a surgical residency; he will literally never get enough sleep ever again until he dies). I have learned to just ignore him for his first hour of awake time. I make no noise that isn't…

THATS BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORST.

It's weird, people always say this, but I've never had disposal issues besides the time my teenage sister tried to put shrimp shells down the disposal. Do I just naturally have a good sense of what can and cannot go down the disposal?

I am the same way about the sink AND the dishwasher. The worst is when I've been baking and I use the scraper to just dump all the flour into the sink... then do my dishes but do not clean the sink. The flour just turns into a gooey pastey mess. But it is like some kind of temporary blindness!

see also: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Only if you don't know the person, you have no idea if they "look like they're having a bad day". You literally don't know anything about them and you are 1.commanding them to contort their face to something you'd rather see and 2. commenting on a situation you know nothing about. You aren't brightening up their…

I have RBF. My favorite response to "smile!" is to ask, "Why? did you say something amusing?" while giving death glare. See also: "Make me. Perform. Do a jig."

I can't be the only person who was like WAIT WHAT YOUR NAME IS WHITE WALKER? WHITE WALKER? Also that no one would know that was his real name is so laughable. I get it, it was supposed to be a sacred "my true self" kind of exchange, but you know Smoking Gun would be all over that in a second. It would be on every…

No, no, you never tell the child they've been chipped are are constantly being tracked. You simply track their every move and whisper. Obvs.

She's just so fucking cool about it. Have you heard Gillian Anderson's Nerdist podcast? She somehow makes Scully look lame by her relative coolness. Seriously.

this story is 100% what I always imagined living at Metropolis was like.

My grandma's lifelong best friend passed away a few years ago. She had been a pretty constant figure in my life, and was very sweet and gentle, a perfect foil to my mean spiteful grandma. I was very upset and didn't make it to the funeral — it was one of those things where I was going to have to go by myself, and…

This is making me laugh so hard. I was a very "sensitive" child and had (have) many meltdowns. Sometimes you just feel overwhelmed and people want you to do stuff and it's scary and seems daunting. But that single tear... hilarious. She's so beautiful and sad and clearly hurt that you wanted to capture that moment…

Guys, I went looking for this

I was hoping you would do the Chloe shade! She had such a great red herring in there.

No never stop terrible photoshop! Never! Sometimes it is the only thing that reminds me that I'm still sane.

My mother in law is in the middle of treatment for cancer. "Dont worry," she told me the other day, "the worst case scenario is I'll be with (deceased FIL)".

is... is that top one a pipe that looks like an elf throwing up?

I either eat snacks all day (pretzels dipped in yellow mustard, so many apples with cheese, popcorn) or I make crazy shit that gets every dish dirty.