Well you know what they say, those who cannot remember the past are doomed to something something. Go crazy? Don't mind if I do!

My husband has recently requested we stop cooking "fart foods" when it is too hot to open the windows. He means cabbage, broccoli, brussel sprouts. Cracks me the fuck up.

This whole scene was so. delicious.

Uh only God did that as a trick, duh, it's a test to... weed out... disbelievers?

yes. YES. YASSSS.

That you are using Jon Hamm as a verb makes me love you very, very much.

I... have to agree on the dong front. I've dated all types and wound up with a scrawny nerd because 1. smart guys are my thing and 2. huge penis. Also 3. plays drums and 4. silent type all combined made my panties explode.

Are they supposed to be for us? Never done anything for me.

My husband and I were in New York this past October and were seriously on the look out for him! I would DIE from joy if I ever got a chance to feel the heat of his screams on my face. DIE.

Oh, don't worry, half of them will still get you useless shit you never expressed any desire to own. I have so many picture frames with "mr and mrs presto" engraved/painted on them, and a few horrid books (the christian wife's cookbook, chicken soup for the silent crier's soul) that came out of my shower and wedding.…

Your name says it all.

Hahaha! No, just more discerning and more likely to not indulge in the same foolishness I used to. I think I'm at minimum a decade away from middle aged, at least I hope so!

Clearly because they hate me.

Oh god. I turned 31 this year and my favorite brunch item from the place around the corner was removed recently... I vowed to never go there again. ITS LIKE YOU SEE MY SOUL.

excellent gif execution.

Surprise, motherfucker somehow still surprises me! It's been like 20 years, you'd think I would know not to fall for it.

I have had that happen!! Something about the pressurization, maybe, or maybe our bodies just think it is hilaaaaarious to go into period overdrive while in a confined space hurtling through the air far above the ground.

I got a wand recently and cannot figure out how to use it to get actual beachy waves. Every time I use it my hair looks like taylor swift spiraly NOPE.

I do something similar to neonails only I stipple with my index and middle finger. One cheek at a time. Fully moisturized. Or try a gel if you're interested in a similar look, the gels don't set up as quickly, in my opinion.