The tension is unbearable.  I don’t know if these two need to settle this with pistols at dawn or by getting a hotel room together.

I think this was the best lawsplainer...

Keep fucking that chicken, Elon. 

Eat the rich.

I’m so fucking excited to vote for him I can hardly stand it. I was skeptical of his odds, but more and more it seems possible. The enthusiasm for him here in Texas is beyond anything I’ve seen. And the challenge for him isn’t converting Republicans to Democrats- it’s converting non-voters to voters. The enthusiasm…

Y’all, I have, like, a teenage girl crush on Beto O’Rourke. We hugged once (well, side hug, like a Duggar) and I swear I got butterflies. He’s very, very handsome.

Ya... don’t get your hopes up. This is an internet poll with a sample size of 500 people. Furthermore, the majority of Cruz’s losses in other surveys have been coming from Republicans who don’t think he is Trumpian enough (hence why Greg Abbot is doing so much better) which is likely the case here. If you think voters…

I used to like Michael Ian Black but I find his “I’m not saying I forgive Louis CK, I’m just saying we need to figure out a way we can forgive Louis CK” discussions to be very exhausting.

Can I hitch a ride with you in the Way Back Machine? You can just drop me off anywhere in October 2016...

And a sleeveless dress.

Also - if you’ll just step into the Way Back Machine for a moment - Jackie Kennedy used to get crap for wearing European designers.

Remember when Michelle was castigated for wearing $200 sneaks?

I’m planning on wearing an outfit that cost much much less....

She consistently wears things that make her body look dumpy or bad. It’s astonishing. She cannot dress herself to save her goddamn life. So much money spent to look shitty.

Lately I’ve noticed a concerted effort on the part of the White House to make sure that Americans know that Melania is the First Lady and not Ivanka.

She comes with her own dibblers. Someone needs to follow her around with a bag of seed. Next year: asters! (A fine change from this year, which has been all disasters.)

But she already wore the garden shoes once.  You expect her to wear the same shoes twice?  Like a peasant?

Aeration is an important part of lawn maintenance.

True story..

Noob just has the crosswind knob set wrong.