See that’s when you just say ‘fukit’ and sit in the river with the beer.

I remember reading something about spiders like — imagine you’re standing next to a whale covered in a blanket. It’s going to be making a bunch of noise and it’s probably going to freak you out and you’re not even a spider!

Get Shannen Doherty to do it, I mean you’re not gonna --mean thing-- that you looked into so hey!

It’s that little lingering feeling, when you’re half-awake, that something just might reach up and touch your foot hanging over the bed.

But, but bears! and the dogs that keep the bears away but then turn on you!

Right, sure, I’ve got you both. When you live on the second (third?) floor and it’s eighty degrees you try to wear as little clothing as possible but...eww.

 When I was playing Track&Field my sophomore year I heard the most hideous scream. It was the from one of the football players.

Yes that’s all well and good but when you’ve got a few friends’ kids coming at you with sparklers well your shorts better be long enough...

I dunno, I could believe it but I just don’t care that much. There are bigger animals to slap in the pan and fry those bastards!

“How does this serve the guilty erection of some schmuck that would review the film?”

Nah I was just being mean. I dunno, I liek that they’re happy!

Yeah, as much muck I might make against bad apples and such this officer really, really made a wonderful display of being a part of the community.

She’s a goddamned hero and she’ll probably wind up in an internment camp.

Then there’s the two old men and one young person having lunch together. As long as they keep the Reuben on their hidden menu I will happily indulge my father and his friend!

So they both have side-pieces.

I would not categorize “Cracker Barrel” as Midwest fancy but that’s just me.

holy shit, that’s horrible.

I had a good one, some many years ago it was a few friends in some back lot and one of those bastards tipped over the mortar...that sumbitch shell landed right under my car and ba-boom!

The next best thing to this is/was that “ArachnOphobia” had nobody working on it. I mean that fucking movie traumatized enough as a child we don’t need a garbage reboot!

Being hungover/stilldrunk where is the bit about all that goldurn money that L.A. wasn’t s’posed to have?!