Are you fcking kidding me?! I mean if it were Sonic that I could understand; relieving his suffering.

Don’t malign the Turkey! They’re heavy bastards and ill-tempered!

Coffee? Are you kidding?

Time to shove a Hellfire up his nose.

My father and myself will go to breakfast occasionally (don’t tell mom!) and there’s nothing like that moment when you see that Reuben (which isn’t on the menu for some reason) coming your way!

CHY-NA!!

Every time I go out to the store to buy more vodka I look like a billionaire.

Stalin should have just kept you.

I prefer the quote attributed to Clemenceau — “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.”

This wasn’t supposed to happen so quickly.

The second you step out of the car.

Forget the bed, howza ‘bout the ones on the couch: Never get pillows with feathers in them because they’ll just poke the shit out of your arm!

Women have way more toys then men/ men will kill women out of frustration. So I guess it’s a wash.

Just remember: the one thing these swine cannot tolerate, above all else, is being mocked.

Hot Dogs = Nitrate-packed assholes = Mitt Romney likes [...assholes...]

My mother gave her sister’s son’s wife a onesie and a few little golden books. It went well!

He was before my time but I remember going with a friend to the Coliseum to see the Undertaker, Yokozuna, hell even Chip and Sunny! Damn that was a good time! Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, by this time Doink and the 1-2-3 kid were defunct, right? Anyway, good times!

I hope she wipes the floor with you bastards!

That’s great. If they want change they should arm themselves and threaten every last goddamn moron that says people/women of any color do no deserve equal representation and the opportunity to just shove that fucking gun in your face.

Turkish Gold baby!