To put in terms that many on this site understand, maybe his WFYO (We Figured You Out) rating is real high and GFITO (Got Fat In the Offseason) score is off the charts.

The rational part of my brain says he’s due for a positive regression. He’s in BABIP hell, which shouldn’t last, and it’s not just him duffing lazy fly balls to the third baseman. His hard hit contact is still respectable (tied for 62 in the league, which isn’t great or where he should be, but it also isn’t Billy…

Let’s enjoy some Yankees fades...

1. Dick “Night Train” Lane.

Deadspin has a responsibility to keep its readers up to date about fast-food family feuds, IMO

This.

Dude is probably secretly excited about being confronted publicly. Now, he can justify all of his security detail and first class travel.

any mention of him pissing his tactical pants when she confronted him?

I know, it’s a huge bore when someone keeps endlessly expressing the same well-worn thought.

“You know you can use that ring to create anything you want, right?”

True. Her swing is fucking garbage. 

Who would you take out for Alfie?

It’s a lazy buzzterm people started using a year ago on social media to get attention.

Easily remedied:

It’s certainly done wonders for Ben Roethlisberger’s career.

In his Twitter bio, Matt Bilinsky refers to himself as a satirist and an “accidental provocateur.” I hope he gets his ass kicked again just for that.

I’m amazed that a buzzcut from Sheboygan turned out to be a #WhitePride guy.

The whitest part of this story is that the lawyer bought the ticket on Expedia.

He looks like he just did the ‘hat reveal’ to show he’s signing a letter of intent to attend MAGA University this fall.

The caps are def going to the WH right?